[writing Ruxin's medical history] So, date of birth?
You've been at my birthday every year for the last twenty years.
Okay. Patient is being hostile. Are you a smoker?
No.
How many drinks would you say you have in a week?
I have, like, one drink a week.
Really? One drink a week?
One drink a week.
All right, do you engage in sexual activity?
Yep.
With multiple partners?
Only when your mom and sister are in town.
I'm not gonna write that down. Have you ever engaged in anal intercourse?
I refer you to my last answer.
Let me just give you a little brief recap here. You are a nonsmoker, light drinker who engages in anal intercourse with my mother and sister.
Look, Andre, just, please, I just need a couple of painkillers to get me through the week.
What do you think we're in, Tijuana here, you can just come in, tell me what you want, and I'll write you a prescription?
If we were in Tijuana, Andre, there would be a goddamn monkey in a sombrero blowing a donkey.
Not in a doctor's office.
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