[dialing] 0115... no... 0118... no... 0118 999 [hums the rest of the numbers] 3. Hello? Is this the emergency services? Then which country am I speaking to? Hello? Hello? [pauses for thought] I know... [sits down in front of the computer] Subject: Fire. "Dear SirMadam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of..." No, that's too formal. [repeatedly presses backspace] "Dear SirMadam. Fire! Exclamation mark. Fire! Exclamation mark. Help me! Exclamation mark. 123 Clarendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss."
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