Hello, Mindy. My name is Beadie. I'm from the Good Place, and welcome to your first day in the afterlife.
What's up, idiot? Sorry I'm late, babe. Hey, are you pregnant?
That's not possible.
Congrats. Yeah, so, Mindy, look. You mostly sucked, but then you did this one good thing. I mean, I still think we should get you...
They didn't, but neither did we. A compromise was made: the neighborhood you are in now by yourself. You submitted a list of things you wanted; the Good Place provided those things.
Yeah, and the Bad Place made some modifications.
We got you your favorite beer.
Yeah, but it's always warm.
On your jukebox, you'll find every song ever sung.
Yeah, by The Eagles, and it's only the live versions. Also, there's some spoken word poetry from William Shatner. It's deeply terrible.
You get the idea. Welcome to eternal mediocrity. Welcome to the Medium Place.
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