(Judge Robertson's Funeral)
The jerk sentenced me to 6 months in jail for a crime I didn't commit. I'm just here to make sure he DEAD!
Thank you. Anyone else?
Yeah, he hired me to replant his garden. And when it came time for him to pay me, he called immigration, on me!
Gracias.
I knew Carl, biblically.
Oh, well, please.
[the mistress steps up to the podium]
With him, it was just a bunch of sex all the time, like dating Thumper. Never felt I really got to know him. Never felt he cared about my needs.
Uh, you were his wife?
His mistress!
Okay.
For 20 years. The longest years of my life.
You don't have any pleasant memories at all of him?
Well,... no. The man's idea of sweet talk was, "when you gonna bring your sister around"?
Well, thank you for sharing.
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