H.R. Wells quotes from The Flash

H.R. Wells

You have Hitchcock on this Earth? Brilliant. "Murder on the Titanic"! "Who did it?" "Who cares? We're drowning."

H.R.

I asked myself to say a few words. On this occasion... a home, more than bricks and mortar, and a turtle. It's uh, it's a feeling. It's a feeling of belonging, isn't it? Of, of love, of course. Of hope, for the future. I don't know if I have ever met two people who are more suited to one another than you two. [raises his glass] To Barry and Iris.

Cisco

[after reviewing H.R.'s CV] Is any of what's on here true?

H.R.

All of it.

Barry

How? You can barely turn on a computer.

H.R.

There are two parts to every idea. There is the inception and the execution... I provide the former.

Iris

So you come up with the ideas.

H.R.

Yeah. I don't know how to implement them. I'm the idea man.

H.R.

"If a string is in a knot / Patience will untie it / Patience can do lots of things / Have you ever tried it?" My dead ma used to say that to me all the time, any time I had a problem. Now I have a problem. I guess I'm going to use that adage to figure it out. "S.T.A.R. Labs Museum". Think about it. [leaves the lab]

Cisco

You think everyone on Earth-19 is missing crayons in the box, or just him?

Barry

He said his name was Savitar.

H.R.

Hindu god of motion.

Cisco

What? How do you know that?

H.R.

Crossword puzzle wizard. On two planets, I might add. 12 across, 7 letters. Savitar. Bam. Hindu god of motion.

Barry

He said he was God.

Cisco

That's -- that's nice. That's not scary. At all.

Joe

Hey. You put my son's life in danger. Again.

H.R.

And he saved Barry's life. Joe, why... why do you think I help Wally? 'Cause I'm selfish, 'cause I get something? I don't get anything out of it. I help Wally 'cause the kid is special. He's extraordinary. His powers are extraordinary. Look, I get it. I'm not his dad. I don't have the same safety concerns as you, of course not. But Joe, one thing I do know: the longer you deny someone their potential, the more they're gonna look for it elsewhere.

Caitlin

Where does it hurt?

H.R.

Every. Where.

Gypsy

You can vibe? [pleased] Oh, I like it.

Cisco

Slow down there. Let's just talk about this, like two adults. Over coffee. Or maybe dinner, if you prefer that. There's a great Thai place up the road if you like Thai. [offers to shake hands] I'm Cisco, by the way. You must be Gypsy. It's nice to meet you.

Caitlin

Are you asking her out on a date?

H.R.

Are you kidding me?

Cisco

I am negotiating!

Cisco

By the laws of Earth 19, I hereby challenge you for possession of H.R. Wells! If you want, we could solve this another way. There's a great spot for drinks-

Gypsy

You realize trial by combat is to the death?

Cisco

Yeah! For the loser. [Gypsy laughs] Listen, you want him? You have to come and claim him.

Gypsy

Hmm.

Cisco

[turning around to Barry and H.R.] That's Arwen!

Gypsy

I take it you also want the customary 24 hours to prepare?

Cisco

Do I want the customary-

H.R.

Yes, you do.

Cisco

I would love to take advantage of the customary 24 hours, if you don't mind.

Gypsy

Very well. One day.

Cisco

One day.

Gypsy

See you then. [vibes open a portal and leaves]

Cisco

She's gonna kill me, isn't she?

Wally

That hurt like...

H.R.

Like you ran into a giant wooden wall, 'cause you did.

Caitlin

Jesse, that's not who you think it is. This is H.R. You met him briefly before you left last time.

H.R.

[bows dramatically] At your service, madame.

Wally

He's Harry's replacement.

H.R.

Some would say "improvement".

Cisco

Um... this is Harry's daughter.

H.R.

Yeah.

Cisco

He's been kidnapped.

H.R.

Ee... I didn't know. I'm so... I thought...

Jesse

Sorry about that.

H.R.

I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry I took the smile from your face.

H.R.

What you doing up there?

Jesse

Just, uh... hanging out.

H.R.

What are... what are you thinking about?

Jesse

Wally. He wants me to stay here with him.

H.R.

Ah. Yeah, he does. Guy is no dummy. Congratulations. Oh, that's great. Love... nothing like young love.

Jesse

Yeah, I just... I don't... I don't know if it's the right thing.

H.R.

Why?

Jesse

He's on his own journey. Besides, my dad just got captured by gorillas. And if... if he does come back, how could I ever tell him I'm leaving?

H.R.

Well, 'cause you're human. That's... that's how. That's what we do. Look, my point is this. When it comes to love, you gotta go for it. You know? Everything else be damned. 'Cause if you don't, you're gonna end up being the kind of person that lives the rest of their life with regret. I mean, I know that telling your dad that, you know, you're... you're switching Earths, that's gonna be a difficult conversation to have, but one that you've got to go for if you want to be happy. But, that's just my opinion. What do I know? I'm just a handsomer guy than your dad with a song in his heart. Good luck, Jesse.

H.R.

[about the way Harry brushes his teeth] O-ooh. You go front-to-back. Toothbrush. You go front-to-back? 'Cause I'm a small-circles kinda guy. Wonder how the other Wells brushes his teeth.

Harry

The murderer?

H.R.

I'm fascinated by the subtle differences between us, you know?

Harry

And the not-so-subtle ones.

H.R.

Like what?

Harry

Like the fact that I'm a genius, and you're a moron. [spits his toothpaste into H.R.'s coffee mug, then leaves]

H.R.

[still in good humor] Okay. See you at the party.

Savitar

[speaking through Julian] Bow before my greatness. Be in awe as you are in the presence of the almighty.

Barry

Enough with the religious nonsense. You're just a man. Like me.

Savitar

I'm nothing like you, Barry. You're cruel. You're selfish. From my perspective, you're the Big Bad.

H.R.

[scoffs] Stupid.

Savitar

Still here, pretender? Still trying to find your "place"?

H.R.

I've found my place. It's standing here with these people, against you.

Savitar

You know, the sad thing is that you live. You survive my wrath. The coward. [to Barry] Irony.

Cisco

Man, I don't know what this is. All I know, it just came off the armor of some Hindu speed god, so...

Caitlin

It's like the box the Philosopher's Stone came in. It simultaneously exists, it doesn't exist.

H.R.

Like Schroeder's Cat. Remember? Schroeder? Guy with the cat, in the box, both alive and dead at the same time, dun dun dun. Which, by the way, seems like cruelty for animals. Half the time.

Cisco

Okay, I think you're thinking of Schrödinger, maybe?

H.R.

Schro - no.

Cisco

Yeah. 'Cause Schroeder's the guy from Peanuts.

H.R.

I don't think so!

Caitlin

Yeah. The one with the piano.

H.R.

Charlie Brown has the piano. On my Earth, that's the whole gag, 'cause he can't play the piano. He's terrible.

Jesse

Oh my god. Who cares about cats, or pianos, or the frickin' Peanuts?

H.R.

It's not "the" Peanuts. It's just... Peanuts.

Music Meister

[enters the room clapping] Bravo! Round of applause, Standing O, that was so GOOD! I loved it! That was a hell of a show, and you two [motioning Iris and Mon-El] I guess your love was strong enough after all. Beautiful.

Cisco

Man, how did you get out of the cell?!?

Music Meister

Cisco, do you really think that cell is gonna just hold me?

Barry

Nah, I'm sorry, what's going on? Why did you do this to us?

Music Meister

I did it because I believe in the good guys. I told you when we first met: It was to teach all of you a lesson. 'Cause I see everything. And I saw two people with two broken hearts.

Kara

So the lesson was...?

Music Meister

Love, Supergirl. Love is about letting yourself be saved. It's not just about saving other people, even if you are superheroes. Anyway, I'm sorry that I had to like, mess with you all, but I was just trying to get you to play the game, do the song-and-dance.

H.R.

Are you from another earth, multiverse, universe, something?

Music Meister

Yeah, you wouldn't even understand where I come from.

Barry

Wait, I'm sorry, that's it? You're just gonna teach somebody else a lesson?

Music Meister

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm gonna do. [singing] Think of your fellow man, lend him a helping hand. Put a little love in your heart. [vanishes]