Now, who wants to boogie with baby '37?
Happy 1937 everybody!
If I could be a vegetable, I'd be a carrot.
(Dressed up as the Energizer Bunny) 48 hours and still going!
I've been there too. Usually there's a midget making googly eyes at me. I call him Mr. Pickalini.
(Watching Jay on TV) On this TV, I do believe his nose is bigger than my foot. (Puts his foot over Jay's nose) Look, see? Isn't that incredible?
I’m not wearing pants. I split my pants, and now I’m not wearing pants.
Son loves Mother, sweet romance. Poor old father has no pants.
Keep it down Son. I'm trying to make it rain Harvey's Bristol Cream.
Hey, hey, hey, it's Fat Albert! How-buh are-buh you-buh do-bing?
(While watching the Pulitzer Prize ceremony) This is the worst production of Porgy and Bess I’ve ever seen.
From Pilot
(On the phone) Hello Jay, this is your boss. I've just obtained legal permission to hunt men for sport, and I wondered if you'd like to come to my ranch tomorrow. Bring your jogging shoes.
Jay, you got a very valid point. But on the other hand, shut up!
I came here to swallow my pride, admit I was wrong, and beg you to come back to work for me again. But then I figured I'd take a moral shortcut and write you a check.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Critic pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.