Stephen Colbert quotes from The Colbert Report

Stephen

(10-20-2008) If your actions speak louder than words, you're not yelling loud enough. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(10-21-2008) Hey America, you scratch my back, I'll demand you scratch my back more. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(10-22-2008) I swim against the Tide, with Bleach Alternative. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(10-23-2008) Hey Pants, why should I have to put you on one leg at a time? I'm not like everybody else. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(10-28-2008) The following was supposed to contain nudity. Thanks a lot, network. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(10-29-2008) I don't pay attention to polls. I just count lawn signs. So get ready for President Remax. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(10-30-2008) Hey kids, if you need a last minute costume idea, you can always go door to door as a McCain campaigner. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(11-05-2008) I didn't vote! If I wanted to stay in line for hours, I'd be an audience member at my show. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(11-06-2008) Hey, did you guys see tonight's episode of The Colbert Report? This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(11-11-2008) What is the sound of one me talking? This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(11-12-2008) Hey TelePrompTer. Stop telling me what to do. Pause, Then Yell. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(11-13-2008) Hey, single malt scotch. You're 30 years old. When are you gonna settle down and get married? To my stomach. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(11-17-2008) If your Colbert Report lasts longer than a half an hour, consult your physician. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(11-18-2008) If you ever forget to watch my show, try this handy mnemonic. Watch. My. Show. This Is the Colbert Report!

Stephen

(11-19-2008) Sarah Palin is getting a book deal. Which means, Wasilia is getting a book store. This Is the Colbert Report!