B. Emerson Plunkett V, All and others in “Unfinished Business”

And now, let us sing the town song.

Oh, Stoolbend, lies Stoolbend. Whiter than whipped cream.

What are them, what now?

We proudly vow to never have a good basketball team.

Those are the words?!

Your white line shines brightly, all brightness it shooes.

Oh my god.

And don't even get us started on taco munchers and Jews.

Woah!