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S1

The Brittas Empire · Season 1

Brittas, Helen and others in “Laying of the Foundations”

[First lines. Helen Brittas is working in the kitchen at the Brittas family home when her husband, Gordon, walks in wearing a suit and tie, and carrying a suitcase]

Brittas

How do I look?

Helen

You look fine, dear, very smart.

Brittas

Well, first day, you got to set the standards. God, we're lucky! We've got so much, haven't we? (Puts his arm round Helen who drops a mug into the sink) Not just each other, but the job, the house, the children. Who's the little one?

Helen

That's Tom.

[Gordon and Helen can see the children playing outside in the back garden]

Brittas

No no, I meant this chap here.

Helen

I dunno, it must be the little boy from next door or something.

Brittas

I think I'll just pop out and tell 'em I'm off.

Helen

Oh, do you have to do? They seem to be enjoying themselves.

Brittas

Shan't be a minute. (Goes out into the back garden)

Helen

(sighs) Oh, dear. (Continues to do the washing and watches as Gordon goes to speak to the children)

Brittas

Good morning, good morning, good morning, lads. Now, allow me by the benefit of my experience to show you exactly how you can prove your game. (Takes one of the children's cricket bats) I'll take this. You go stand in the gully. You stand in the gully just there, all right? Now for start, three fingers apart. Okay, come on, big lad, give me one. Send one down, nice and fierce, alright? I'll show you. (Swings the bat) You see? That's the kind. You've got to follow through, you see, and make sure you go nicely apart.

[The boy in the black t-shirt takes back his cricket bat]

Pam's Son

Dad!

Brittas

Give me the bat back.

Pam's Son

You'll ruin the game.

Brittas

Give me the bat back.

Pam's Son

No!

Brittas

Give me it back. I have not finished my demonstration.

Pam's Son

No!

Brittas

You can improve your game, give me it back.

Pam's Son

No!

Brittas

Give... (Tom whacks him with the cricket bat) Oh!

[Meanwhile, Helen, who has seen all the action, hears the doorbell ring]

Brittas

[from outside] I'll have that, thank you very much indeed.

Pam

I'm from next door. I'm afraid my little boy has got into your garden.

[Helen returns to the kitchen with Pam, the Brittas family's next door neighbour]

Helen

Do come in. He's yours, is he? Sorry. (Picks up a box)

Pam

Well there's a hole in the fence, you see, and I told him to wait until you've settled in but I just hope he's not being a nuisance.

Helen

No, no, they're playing beautifully together.

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