Leonard and Leslie in “The Fuzzy Boots Corollary”

Hello Leslie.

Hi Leonard.

I'd like to propose an experiment…

Goggles, Leonard.

Right. I would like to propose an experiment.

Hang on. I'm trying to see how long it takes a 500-kilowatt oxygen iodine laser to heat up my Cup o' Noodles.

I've done it. About two seconds, 2.6 for minestrone. Anyway, I was thinking more of a bio-social exploration with a neuro-chemical overlay.

Wait, are you asking me out?

I was going to characterize it as the modification of our colleague-slash-friendship paradigm with the addition of a date-like component, but we don't need to quibble over terminology.

What sort of experiment?

There's a generally accepted pattern in this area. I would pick you up. Take you to a restaurant. Then we would see a movie, probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock.

Interesting. And would you agree that the primary way we would evaluate either the success or failure of the date would be based on the biochemical reaction during the good night kiss?

Heart rate, pheromones, et cetera. Yes.

Why don't we just stipulate that the date goes well and move to the key variable?

You mean kiss you now?

Yes.

Can you define the parameters of the kiss?

Closed-mouth but romantic. Mint?