TV show quotes
[During the night, Sister's fear of the dark causes disruption as the cubs' bedroom light keeps getting switched on and off...]
Help!
[The lights go on]
Can't sleep.
[The lights go off]
Help!
[The lights go on again]
Can't sleep.
[The lights go off again]
Help!
[The lights go on yet again]
Can't sleep!
[The lights go off yet again]
Help!
[The lights go on]
Can't sleep...
When small cubs forget to store and stash,
Some of their favorite things,
They go in the trash.
Good morning, Mrs. Bear. There's some mail for you.
Thank you, Mr. Mailbear. Oh, good. My "Treehouse Keeping" magazine.
Hi, Mama, excuse us. Hey, how about a game of tiddlywinks?
Okay. I'll race you up to our room.
You're on!
Those cubs! With that kind of energy, you'd think they could take better care of their room. Ahh... speaking of rooms, aren't these lovely?
[Regarding with the new changes to the closet.]
I do not think I dare.
Go ahead! Open it!
[When Mama opens the closet, she sees all the boxes with the cubs's favorite things. And they are marked down with a specific category they belong to. For example, Brother's dinosaur collection belongs in the box of dinosaur models. That is, which is the box that has the word "DINOSAURS" marked on it.]
Oh! Yes, indeed! A room and a closet to be proud of!
What about us?
Yeah, aren't you proud of us, too?
Abso-tively pos-olutley!
Hey, what about yours truly, Papa Q. Bear?
What do you think, cubs? Should we keep ol' Papa Q.?
[Laughing]: Yeah, let's keep him!
Who and what in the name of all that's where are you?
My friends call me the Terrible Termite... that is, They would if I had any friends...
[Brother and Sister Bear started with name-calling]
HEY! COME ON, SILLYHEAD! DIDN'T YOU HEAR MAMA!?
I HEARD HER! STOP BEING SUCH A FUZZ BRAIN!
YOU NOODLEPUSS!
LAY OFF, YOU LITTLE MINI!
Now, see here!
[In the dining room, Brother and Sister are tugging over one honey jar]
Gimme that!
I had it...first!
Stop grabbing!
[enters the dining room and sees Brother and Sister fighting over a honey jar] For goodness sake! Where are your manners?! There's plenty of honey for everyone.
I'm calling it "The Bear Family Politeness Plan". It seems to me that the best way to fight bad habits is with good habits. For example, if any of us forgets to say "please and thank you", he or she has to sweep the front steps. And pushing or shoving means you have to beat two rugs.
[Echoing from the book, if you forgot a "please" or "thank you" you had to sweep the front steps, if you pushed or shoved you had to beat two rugs, and if you got caught name calling you had to clean the entire cellar. In the book, it says, "If you forgot a 'please' or 'thank you' you had to sweep the front steps, if you pushed or shoved you had to beat two rugs, if you were caught interrupting you had to dust the downstairs, and if you were caught name calling you had to clean the entire cellar".]
But Mama, all those chores?
YOU'RE NOT BEING FAIR!
It seems to me that you're the ones that aren't being fair. Manners help us to get along with each other. Why, without manners...
[interrupts] Your mama's absolutely right!
Thanks for your comment, Papa, but interrupting is number 3 on the rude list. And the penalty is dusting the room.
But...
You didn't say, "thank you" for the duster. I'm afraid that means after you're finished dusting, you have to sweep the front steps (and that's number 1). [leaves the living room]
[Papa starts dusting the table with a feather duster]
[reading the chart] Rude noises, what does that mean?
Oh you know, [blows raspberry]
Penalty number 7!
[names the penalty for the 7th rule; as shown on the "Bear Family Politeness Plan" rule list] Weed the garden!?
[Later, Papa dusts the downstairs, sweeps the front steps, pull the weeds from the garden. This was penalties 3, 1, and 7. He was caught interrupting, forgot a "Please" and a "Thank You", and made rude noises. And indeed, when starting the "Bear Family Politeness Plan", forgetting a "Please" or a "Thank You" meant you had to sweep the front steps, pushing or shoving was beat two rugs, interrupting was sweep the front steps, and name calling was cleaning the entire cellar.]
This is serious. If we're not careful, we may end up doing all those chores.
[after accidentally crashing the car] WHY THAT PIN HEADED FIDDLEBRAIN!
Papa, that's name calling!
(Penalty number 4!) You know what the penalty for that is!
The worst penalty of all! Cleaning our entire cellar!
[Echoing from the book, the penalty for name calling, it was "clean the entire cellar". So Papa gritted his teeth and remembered his manners.]
[angrily; to Papa after he accidentally bumped his car] You No-good nincompoop! Why I ought too...!
[After Brother and Sister accidentally break Mama's best lamp]
Mama's favorite lamp!
Smashed all to bits!
What are we gonna do?!
[to Brother and Sister] Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get the heck out of here.
[The mockingbird, she flies away. As echoed from the book version, the bear family had some house rules just as any family has. The first rule --out of the three-- it was, "No eating honey in bed!". The second rule was, "No tracking mud on the clean floors!". And the third and final one was, "No playing ball in the house!".]
Oh, my gosh! Here comes Mama!
Oh, no! What'll we do?
We could hide the lamp!
There's no time!
Well, we can at least hide the soccer ball.
Hurry, here she comes! Hide it quick!
Well, I'm back from my shopping. Did you have your milk and cook...? [She sees that her best lamp is broken] My lamp! My very best lamp! What happened to it?
Well, um...
You see...
It got broken.
I know it got broken! How did it get broken?
Well, it was a bird!
A bird? Yes. A bird!
That's right! A big purple bird with yellow feet!
Yes! And a red head and green wingtips.
And funny little red feathers sticking out of its head.
This bird, did it make any kind of sound?
It squawked.
It whistled.
That's right. It squawked and whistled.
[red-headed purple bird squawking and whistling]
Then it flew in the window, zoomed around the room, and broke the lamp.
Well, that was quite an experience.
Yeah.
Well, hello, group! How's every little... [He sees that Mama's best lamp is fully broken] HOLY CATFISH!! What happened to Mama's best lamp?
It's quite an interesting story. Why don't you tell it to your Papa?
Well, there was this big green-headed yellow bird with purple feet...
No! A red-headed purple bird with yellow feet.
Yeah, yeah. A purple-headed green bird with red feet and yellow wingtips and green feathers growing out of it's...
No, no, no! A yellow-headed green bird with red feet and purple wingtips and...
Just a minute, please! You've got me confused. Now, what was it, a yellow bird with green wingtips and purple feet, or a purple bird with green wingtips and yellow feet, or a white bird with black spots, like that soccer ball behind my easy chair? Well, do you two say for yourselves?
Now, Papa, don't be too hard on them. You see? I'm not worried about the lamp. We can always get a new lamp or we can glue this one back together. What I'm sad about is the thought that maybe, just maybe, my cubs whom I've always trusted, aren't telling me the truth. And trust is not something you can put back together again once it's broken.
[From Mama's saying, buying another lamp is always possible. That is, or gluing the old lamp back together.]
It wasn't a bird, it was a soccer ball!
And it was all my fault.
It was just as much as my fault.
A penny for your thoughts, Papa.
Where's the penny?
Right here.
Well, what your old Papa was thinking about...
...was honey! [chuckle]
That's all you ever think about, Papa.
It's all very well to scoff. But the fact is that honey is very important to Bear Country. Not only is it nature's most perfect food, it's the foundation of Bear Country's entire economy. Why, without bees and honey, Bear Country would be in very serious trouble!
Just picture it, hundreds of thousands of these little darlings gulping down those bees, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp!
I'm picturing, I'm picturing!
Hour after hour! Day after day! And after a while, no more bees!
Ah, and no more bees means no more honey!
And no more honey means the end of Bear Country as we know it!
"Mission accomplished!" [laughs maniacally] Release another bee! [laughs maniacally]
They've done it! By Jove, they've done it! Brother and Sister have saved the bees!
With a little help from our friends.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Berenstain Bears pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.