Mama Bear quotes from The Berenstain Bears

[sighing; as she piles that season's pumpkins in a wheelbarrow] I do hope Papa is being careful. He's taking down that big tree today, and...

[off-screen] TIM-BERRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Oh, good. The ponies and the merry-go-round are here.

The what?

Oh, didn't I tell you? I rented ponies and a merry-go-round for the party. It just wouldn't be a party without ponies and a merry-go-round.

[as Sister pins the tail on the donkey just right] Terrific! Way to go! Yay, Sister!

[removing the blindfold] Oh goody, I won, I won!

[presenting one of Sister's friends with a prize] Good work, sonny. Here's your prize!

But Mama, I won fair and square!

Of course you won, sweetie, but you can't get the prize because it's your birthday. It wouldn't be polite.

[singing] ♪ Happy birthday, Sister Bear, ♪

Sweetie, what's the matter? It's your birthday! Why are you so upset?

[in between tears] It isn't fair! I was the first one out in musical chairs, I didn't get my donkey game prize, I got bounced on the ponies, and sick in the merry-go-round. And I don't want to have six cubs, I only want to have three!

Gee, Sis. How about your presents? You haven't opened them yet.

And cake and ice cream. You haven't had them yet, either.

Hey, terrific! A secret clubhouse! Hot diggety! A new clubhouse! A new clubhouse!

No girls allowed?!

[to Sister] THAT'S RIGHT! NO GIRLS ALLOWED!

IT IS NOT FAIR! IT IS NOT FAIR! IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! IT ISN'T FAIR! IN FACT, IT IS FAIR TO HAVE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL OUTRAGE!

[calmly, but sternly] NOW COME! WE ARE GOING TO GO BACK THERE AND MAKE THEM --THE BOYS/BIG CUBS-- TAKE YOU INTO THEIR SILLY CLUB! AND IF THEY DON'T, I AM GOING TO DESTROY THAT CLUBHOUSE LIMB FROM LIMB!

Right!

I don't think that's the answer. Those boys are being unfair. Sometimes boys act that way, so do girls, but whoever does it, it's wrong. The important thing is not whether you're a boy or girl, but the sort of person you are. Be that as it may, you can't make cubs play with you.

No, but you can tear them limb from limb! [to Papa] Come on, Papa!

Wouldn't it be a better idea for you to form your own club and build a secret clubhouse of your own?

Could I?

Why not? I'd be glad to help. Why, we can build it in the old climbing tree!

Terrific! The first thing we'll need is a big sign that says: "No Boys Allowed".

No, the first thing you'll need is members.

Those boys were just being mean because I outhit them and won all their marbles! They're bad losers!

I suppose that's true, but you know, there's such a thing as a bad winner, too.

Bad winner? What's that?

A bad winner is somebody who makes a big braggy show every time she wins.

I see what you mean.

But I think we can work something out.

I'm gonna send it up and follow it in the car. You wanna come along?

Wow! Can I?

[Stops him] DON'T YOU DARE!

[sing-songy] ♪BROTHER TALKED TO A STRANGER! BROTHER TALKED TO A STRANGER!♪

But it was a big, orange-and-green radio-controlled job!

That doesn't matter! We have rules about strangers, and they're important!

We have rules about tattletales, too!

Sister wasn't tattling. Tattling is telling just to be mean. Sister was telling because she loves you and she was worried.

Do you think that guy was a bad apple?

Probably not.

That's right, but you have to be careful, just in case.

Help! Screamed the three friends. Help!

STOP! STOP! STOP READING! STOP! STOP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE!

Sister is a scaredy bear! Sister is a scaredy...!

Now, now! That will be enough of that! [To Sister] Now sweetie, you mustn't let your imagination run away with you like that. It's only a book.

[Agrees with Papa] Yeah. It's only a book.

A STUPID DOPEY SCARY BOOK!

I heard it! It went... [cowardly moaning like a ghost] ...ooooohhh, oooooohhhh, oooohhh!

Do you know anything about this, young fella?

It's like Papa said. She just let her imagination run away with her.

Uh-huh. [puts Sister Bear back in the top bed] Well, let's just put it this way. [angrily looking down at Brother] If there's anymore "ooh ooh ooh", it's going to be followed by a little "ow, ow, ow!"

Alright. Let's settle down and get some sleep. Papa and I are going to bed now so we'll be right by and we'll leave the lights on for the time being

Thank you Mama.

[Angry] Leave the lights on?! What about me? I can't sleep with the lights on! They keep me awake!

Well that's just too bad. [Brother angrily gets out of bed and turns the lights off.] HELP!!! CAVE MONSTERS!!! MAMA!!! PAPA!!! COME QUICK!!!

Good morning, Mrs. Bear. There's some mail for you.

Thank you, Mr. Mailbear. Oh, good. My "Treehouse Keeping" magazine.

Hi, Mama, excuse us. Hey, how about a game of tiddlywinks?

Okay. I'll race you up to our room.

You're on!

Those cubs! With that kind of energy, you'd think they could take better care of their room. Ahh... speaking of rooms, aren't these lovely?

I do not think I dare.

Go ahead! Open it!

Oh! Yes, indeed! A room and a closet to be proud of!

What about us?

Yeah, aren't you proud of us, too?

Abso-tively pos-olutley!

Hey, what about yours truly, Papa Q. Bear?

What do you think, cubs? Should we keep ol' Papa Q.?

[Laughing]: Yeah, let's keep him!

Gimme that!

I had it...first!

Stop grabbing!

[enters the dining room and sees Brother and Sister fighting over a honey jar] For goodness sake! Where are your manners?! There's plenty of honey for everyone.

I'm calling it "The Bear Family Politeness Plan". It seems to me that the best way to fight bad habits is with good habits. For example, if any of us forgets to say "please and thank you", he or she has to sweep the front steps. And pushing or shoving means you have to beat two rugs.

But Mama, all those chores?

YOU'RE NOT BEING FAIR!

It seems to me that you're the ones that aren't being fair. Manners help us to get along with each other. Why, without manners...

[interrupts] Your mama's absolutely right!

Thanks for your comment, Papa, but interrupting is number 3 on the rude list. And the penalty is dusting the room.

But...

You didn't say, "thank you" for the duster. I'm afraid that means after you're finished dusting, you have to sweep the front steps (and that's number 1). [leaves the living room]

[reading the chart] Rude noises, what does that mean?

Oh you know, [blows raspberry]

Penalty number 7!

[names the penalty for the 7th rule; as shown on the "Bear Family Politeness Plan" rule list] Weed the garden!?

This is serious. If we're not careful, we may end up doing all those chores.

[after accidentally crashing the car] WHY THAT PIN HEADED FIDDLEBRAIN!

Papa, that's name calling!

(Penalty number 4!) You know what the penalty for that is!

The worst penalty of all! Cleaning our entire cellar!

[angrily; to Papa after he accidentally bumped his car] You No-good nincompoop! Why I ought too...!

Oh, my gosh! Here comes Mama!

Oh, no! What'll we do?

We could hide the lamp!

There's no time!

Well, we can at least hide the soccer ball.

Hurry, here she comes! Hide it quick!

Well, I'm back from my shopping. Did you have your milk and cook...? [She sees that her best lamp is broken] My lamp! My very best lamp! What happened to it?

Well, um...

You see...

It got broken.

I know it got broken! How did it get broken?

Well, it was a bird!

A bird? Yes. A bird!

That's right! A big purple bird with yellow feet!

Yes! And a red head and green wingtips.

And funny little red feathers sticking out of its head.

This bird, did it make any kind of sound?

It squawked.

It whistled.

That's right. It squawked and whistled.

Then it flew in the window, zoomed around the room, and broke the lamp.

Well, that was quite an experience.

Yeah.

Well, hello, group! How's every little... [He sees that Mama's best lamp is fully broken] HOLY CATFISH!! What happened to Mama's best lamp?

It's quite an interesting story. Why don't you tell it to your Papa?

Well, there was this big green-headed yellow bird with purple feet...

No! A red-headed purple bird with yellow feet.

Yeah, yeah. A purple-headed green bird with red feet and yellow wingtips and green feathers growing out of it's...

No, no, no! A yellow-headed green bird with red feet and purple wingtips and...

Just a minute, please! You've got me confused. Now, what was it, a yellow bird with green wingtips and purple feet, or a purple bird with green wingtips and yellow feet, or a white bird with black spots, like that soccer ball behind my easy chair? Well, do you two say for yourselves?

Now, Papa, don't be too hard on them. You see? I'm not worried about the lamp. We can always get a new lamp or we can glue this one back together. What I'm sad about is the thought that maybe, just maybe, my cubs whom I've always trusted, aren't telling me the truth. And trust is not something you can put back together again once it's broken.

It wasn't a bird, it was a soccer ball!

And it was all my fault.

It was just as much as my fault.

A penny for your thoughts, Papa.

Where's the penny?

Right here.

Well, what your old Papa was thinking about...

...was honey! [chuckle]

That's all you ever think about, Papa.

It's all very well to scoff. But the fact is that honey is very important to Bear Country. Not only is it nature's most perfect food, it's the foundation of Bear Country's entire economy. Why, without bees and honey, Bear Country would be in very serious trouble!