[after accidentally crashing the car] WHY THAT PIN HEADED FIDDLEBRAIN!
SBSister Bear
Papa, that's name calling!
(Penalty number 4!) You know what the penalty for that is!
The worst penalty of all! Cleaning our entire cellar!
[Echoing from the book, the penalty for name calling, it was "clean the entire cellar". So Papa gritted his teeth and remembered his manners.]
DDriver
[angrily; to Papa after he accidentally bumped his car] You No-good nincompoop! Why I ought too...!
[After Brother and Sister accidentally break Mama's best lamp]
SBSister Bear
Mama's favorite lamp!
BBBrother Bear
Smashed all to bits!
SBSister Bear
What are we gonna do?!
MMockingbird
[to Brother and Sister] Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get the heck out of here.
[The mockingbird, she flies away. As echoed from the book version, the bear family had some house rules just as any family has. The first rule --out of the three-- it was, "No eating honey in bed!". The second rule was, "No tracking mud on the clean floors!". And the third and final one was, "No playing ball in the house!".]
BBBrother Bear
Oh, my gosh! Here comes Mama!
SBSister Bear
Oh, no! What'll we do?
BBBrother Bear
We could hide the lamp!
SBSister Bear
There's no time!
BBBrother Bear
Well, we can at least hide the soccer ball.
SBSister Bear
Hurry, here she comes! Hide it quick!
Well, I'm back from my shopping. Did you have your milk and cook...? [She sees that her best lamp is broken] My lamp! My very best lamp! What happened to it?
BBBrother Bear
Well, um...
BBBrother Bear
It got broken.
I know it got broken! How did it get broken?
BBBrother Bear
Well, it was a bird!
SBSister Bear
A bird? Yes. A bird!
BBBrother Bear
That's right! A big purple bird with yellow feet!
SBSister Bear
Yes! And a red head and green wingtips.
BBBrother Bear
And funny little red feathers sticking out of its head.
This bird, did it make any kind of sound?
BBBrother Bear
It squawked.
SBSister Bear
It whistled.
BBBrother Bear
That's right. It squawked and whistled.
[red-headed purple bird squawking and whistling]
BBBrother Bear
Then it flew in the window, zoomed around the room, and broke the lamp.
Well, that was quite an experience.
BBBrother Bear and Sister Bear
Yeah.
Well, hello, group! How's every little... [He sees that Mama's best lamp is fully broken] HOLY CATFISH!! What happened to Mama's best lamp?
It's quite an interesting story. Why don't you tell it to your Papa?
BBBrother Bear
Well, there was this big green-headed yellow bird with purple feet...
SBSister Bear
No! A red-headed purple bird with yellow feet.
BBBrother Bear
Yeah, yeah. A purple-headed green bird with red feet and yellow wingtips and green feathers growing out of it's...
SBSister Bear
No, no, no! A yellow-headed green bird with red feet and purple wingtips and...
Just a minute, please! You've got me confused. Now, what was it, a yellow bird with green wingtips and purple feet, or a purple bird with green wingtips and yellow feet, or a white bird with black spots, like that soccer ball behind my easy chair? Well, do you two say for yourselves?
Now, Papa, don't be too hard on them. You see? I'm not worried about the lamp. We can always get a new lamp or we can glue this one back together. What I'm sad about is the thought that maybe, just maybe, my cubs whom I've always trusted, aren't telling me the truth. And trust is not something you can put back together again once it's broken.
[From Mama's saying, buying another lamp is always possible. That is, or gluing the old lamp back together.]
SBSister Bear
It wasn't a bird, it was a soccer ball!
BBBrother Bear
And it was all my fault.
SBSister Bear
It was just as much as my fault.
SBSister Bear
A penny for your thoughts, Papa.
SBSister Bear
Right here.
Well, what your old Papa was thinking about...
MBMama Bear, Sister Bear and Brother Bear
...was honey! [chuckle]
SBSister Bear
That's all you ever think about, Papa.
It's all very well to scoff. But the fact is that honey is very important to Bear Country. Not only is it nature's most perfect food, it's the foundation of Bear Country's entire economy. Why, without bees and honey, Bear Country would be in very serious trouble!
SBSister Bear
Well, I like that. Some unauthorized person has been using my modeling clay.
[Sister steals back her clay and furiously squishes the clay dinosaurs, turns them into a lump, and angrily rolls it into a ball.]
BBBrother Bear
It took me a week to make those! [angrily goes to the jigsaw puzzle] Well, what about my jigsaw puzzle that some little twerp has been putting together?!
[As echoed from the book, Sister stole back her clay --which Brother made into clay dinosaurs-- and rolled them up into one big lump. Brother --on the other hand-- stole back his toy trucks and planes and hid them in a high closet shelf. And Sister could not reach them. Upon continuation, Brother angrily knocks down the puzzle pieces, everything tumbling down the floor.]
SBSister Bear
You no-good rat! I've been working on that puzzle for two weeks!
BBBrother Bear
What about my clay dinosaurs?! I was working on them for a school project!
SBSister Bear
[walking to him] Oh, yeah?! Well, my clay is my clay and you have absolutely no right!
BBBrother Bear
I have every right! You're always using my stuff: my skateboard, my hockey stick, my...
SBSister Bear
Never mind about your stuff, you no-good sword head!
BBBrother Bear
You're the sword head, you little silly nit-wit! Why I oughta!
SBSister Bear
You just shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!
BBBrother Bear
WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!
What in the world is going on up there?! I want that shouting stopped this instant! UNDERSTAND?!
SBSister Bear
It's all his fault! He called me names!
BBBrother Bear
All my fault?! It's all her fault!
[in frustration] I don't care whose fault it is! [Brother and Sister go down the stairs] I want this fighting and bickering stopped! Stop... [leaning to them] ...you hear?! [Papa, Brother, and Sister Bear then argue at each other] WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS?! FAMILY FEUD?! I WANT THE NOISE STOPPED! STOP, YOU HEAR?!
[Mama whistles to stop them.]
SBSister Bear
I didn't know you whistle that loud, Mama.
Well, I can. And I can also tell you that I've had quite enough of this foolish fighting. Why, I don't think you two even remember what you're fighting about.
[Mama picks up the cubs, sits down on her armchair, and hugs Brother and Sister on her lap.]
[Regarding to Brother's clay dinosaurs...!]
SBSister Bear
[from the flashback] YOUR DINOSAURS, THEY LOOK STUPID ANYWAY!
[Cut to reality.]
SBSister Bear
[apologizes to Brother for wrecking his clay dinosaurs] I am sorry that I ruined your dinosaurs. I can help you make new ones if you like.
BBBrother Bear
[smiles] Well? Okay.
[Sister apologizes to Brother for wrecking his clay dinosaurs. Even though she still wrecked them and they are still broken, Brother forgives her anyway. That is, even though it was on purpose and even though she still did it. But when Sister says she will help him build new clay dinosaurs, Brother forgives her and accepts her apology.]
[Sister and Lizzy pretend that they are playing pretend school. That is, pretend first grade. As Lizzy --who pretends to be the first grade teacher-- teaches the alphabet to the pretend preschool class, the pretend school pointer Lizzy has is revealed to be a stick or twig. Echoed from the book, Lizzy she had a pointer stick in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other.]
LLizzy
Please be seated Sister. It's time for your lessons. First, I'm going to teach you the alphabet. The first letter of the alphabet is "A".
[Lizzy --with the piece of chalk in the right hand-- writes a capital "A" on the pretend chalk board. That is, as she --in the left hand-- holds the pointer stick. Before she can ask the class if any of them know what the second letter of the alphabet is, Sister --pretending to be one of her "pretend students"-- interrupts Lizzy --who is the "pretend teacher"-- wants to have the pointer and be the teacher.]
SBSister Bear
Now just a minute! Who said you were going to be the teacher?! When I play school, I'm the teacher! And not only that! I already know the alphabet!
LLizzy
[to Sister] Sister Bear, if you don't sit down this minute, I'm going to keep you after school!
SBSister Bear
Is that so? [poking with her finger on Lizzy's belly] Well, if you don't give me that pointer, I'm going to keep you after school!
SBSister Bear
OH YES, I AM!
[Sister grabs the pointer from Lizzy. They both wrestle for the pointer stick. All of a sudden, the stick snaps in half. Then the scene turns to Sister and Lizzy. And they each have a half of the stick --as Sister had broken it.]
LLizzy
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU BROKE MY POINTER! (AND IT IS TOTALED!)
[That is what Lizzy says to Sister after Sister broke and totaled her pointer. In fact, Sister broke --and totaled-- it beyond repair.]
SBSister Bear
HERE! KEEP YOUR OLD POINTER!
[Sister throws the pointer stick down in front of Lizzy's feet.]
SBSister Bear
I'M NEVER GOING TO PLAY WITH YOU AGAIN!
LLizzy
NEVER IS TOO SHORT FOR ME!
SBSister Bear
GOOD! THEN I AM GOING TO TAKE MY DOLLS AND GO HOME!
LLizzy
Sister's mad, and I'm glad!
SBSister Bear
Lizzy-Lizzy in a tizzy!
LLizzy
Sister's mad, and I'm glad!
SBSister Bear
Lizzy-Lizzy in a tizzy!
SBSister Bear
I'm never going to play with that Lizzy Bruin again! She's much too braggy and bossy!
[Sister and Lizzy make up for the fight yesterday.]
LLizzy
[to Sister] Here's your doll back. You can be the teacher as many times as you want.
SSister
[to Lizzy for a better idea] Or we can take turns.
[But even though Sister still broke and totaled Lizzy's pointer stick, she and Lizzy bury the hatchet. Sister's idea does sound great though. Her idea is taking turns being the kindergarten/first grade teacher.]
The Berenstain Bears · 34 quotes