The Nerd and Harry in “Unfinished Business”

The Nerd

Well, here's one that I missed in my Arnold Schwarzenegger Games episode, True Lies. It’s one of my favorites of his. Not just for the action, but also the humor. The game retains some of that humor. Like when you shoot an innocent civilian, your assistant, the Tom Arnold character, gives you shit about it. Also, when you die, he says things like, "You only have one life left!”, as if he’s witnessing you die and resurrect. But wait, what do you do if a civilian is blocking the path? (Harry tries going through the door, but a server is blocking him) He won't move! (The Nerd presses the button to shoot the server blocking Harry, and his assistant complains about it) But when you fail, this happens! (Harry dies. An explosion sound is heard in-game, and a picture of a mushroom cloud is shown.) Now that's what you call a Game Over. It really does emphasize the magnitude of the defeat. BOOM! YOU'RE DEAD, MOTHERFUCKER! Unfortunately, the game is very monotonous. Even though the scene changes from the mansion, the mall, the park, it’s all the same, top down, run around and shoot crap. When you think of the movie, you remember the bathroom fight, the horse on the roof chase, the bridge scene, the Jamie Lee Curtis strip dance. I wonder how that would've worked. It does have the plane finale, but it’s just an automatic cutscene. Oh, and of course, there had to be a Game Boy version. Here, Arnold looks like a pill from Dr. Mario with a gun. It’s the same thing. Shoot bad guys, but avoid civilians. And anytime you shoot, you’re guaranteed to get shot back. It’s better to just walk past them. All in all, it's the same as the Super Nintendo version, just shittier.

You're fired.