BRUTAL CHEX! It's Chex... on steroids! ILLEEEGAL steroids! Made from broken glass, rusty fuckin' nails, and whole grain rice. This cereal will start your day... if it doesn't end your life! Fortified with calcium from the bones of fallen angel wings! The only cereal eaten by both God and Satan! It's a straight kick to your Muddy Buddies - and Brutal Chex turns your milk RED, FROM YOUR OWN BLOOD POURING OUT OF YOUR FUCKING SCREAMING MOOOOOOOUTH! (50 free hours of America Online included.)
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