That box is a prime example of false advertising. Upgrade your Ninfuckingtendo Entertainment System? More like UPPER DECKING IT! And that's not a joke. I mean it. It is the electronic equivalent of an upper-decker. With the Aladdin, the components that normally go inside an NES cartridge are instead deposited into the deck. In the same way, the turds, which are usually preferred to land in the toilet bowl, are instead dumped into the upper tank. Therefore when the toilet is flushed, the bowl fills with shit water, and after that, it's the shit that keeps on giving. Would you consider that an enhancement to your toilet? Well, give it a try, and you'll know EXACTLY what the Aladdin does to your NES! Why does the box say "Aladdin is the future in console gameplay"? The Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo were already out! That's like saying you invented a brand new car that's got new safety features, and uses clean energy, but it's got pillows tied to it and it runs on coal! This thing had no future at all! All the "Coming Soon" games were cancelled, and Camerica went out of business right after this thing was... released? (He weakenly laughs, then he shouts) They went out of business right after it was ANNOUNCED! (He stammers, then he picks up the box and gets hit by the instructions) I—it was a death sentence! A curse! A curse that shrouds its release status in all-consuming mystery! Not even the Gaming Historian found any clear proof that it ever got officially released. I mean, sure, it got made an—and discovered thanks to inventory liquidators and eBay, bu—but if this thing never officially came out, then not only did it not have any future... it didn't have any past, either! How am I supposed to take you back to the past, when there's no fucking past?! I have no business complaining about something that didn't even come out! I wasted my breath! Why did I have to find this thing?! Aahh, I might as well just be diggin' into the Devil's asshole! Fuck!
(The Genie appears filled with sewage from a septic tank that previously came from the Nerd's second wish.)
Hey, I'm back.
What are you doing back here?
Look, man, I'm just here to grant your last wish so I can get out of here.
Oh, yeah, that's right. I get one more wish. Okay, well, for my last wish... I wish... you know, I think we've both suffered enough. Yeah, so... I wish... every Aladdin Deck Enhancer, on the whole planet Earth... will fucking explode.
You got it, dude! Smell ya later!
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