The Nerd in “Unfinished Business”

The Nerd

(on Game Boy accessories) But then, to top it off, the grand finale. I'm not even emotionally ready to tell you about this, so just sit back, here it is. The PediSedate. This thing was intended for hospitals, to help children relax when they're about to be put under for surgery or a medical procedure. Essentially, it's a pair of headphones that you plug into the Game Boy. You could probably plug it into any portable gaming console, but more importantly, it has a cup that goes over the child's mouth, and releases the sleep gas, or laughing gas, or whatever it is they need. So, it's the only gaming peripheral I know of that gasses you! Imagine being sedated while playing fuckin' Dr. Mario! What would that be like? Oh, my God! I was gonna make up a bunch of fake shit at the end, like the Game Boy Dog Turd Collector. But nothing I can make up can top this! And this thing was rea-I mean, it didn't get released, but it was invented and patented. The Game Boy must have been the most multi-purposed thing in existence! Astronauts actually took it into space! It could withstand bomb blasts, you could take photos, print, sew, find fish, get sedated! I wanna be sedated with a Game Boy!! I WANNA BE SEDATED WITH A GAAAME BOOOY!!! BAM BAM BAMBAM BAMBAM BAM B-B- I WANNA BE SEDATED WITH A GAAAAAME BOOOOOY!!!!!