The AVGN in “Unfinished Business”

Ugh. (looks at a flaming bag, screams and puts it out with his shoe) No! (he takes the bag to his gaming room) Ugh, those goddamn kids. They left me a flaming bag... (takes out the game) of shit! The Crow: City of Angels. It was on PC, PlayStation and Sega Saturn, and all the same, the PC version was a Piece of Crap, the PS version was a Piece of Shit, and the Saturn version was a Satanic turd, MORE LETHAL THAN TEN TONS OF DONKEY DOOKIE DROPPING FROM A 60-STORY BUILDING! The Crow was a dark action film based on a comic series. The film takes place the night before Halloween, Mischief Night or Devil's Night, which is associated with the more destructive version of Mischief Night, which is not so much about petty pranks, but more about vandalism and arson. It's also somewhat related to an older tradition: Guy Fawkes Night. But that's another story. Anyway, The Crow, of course, starred Brandon Lee, Bruce Lee's son. You can't talk about The Crow without mentioning the fact that he was accidentally killed on set by a defective gun blank. Yeah, I have nothing but tragedy to tell today. The plot was about a rock star named Eric Draven. He and his girlfriend are violently killed by a horrible gang. But he's resurrected and seeks his revenge after a crow leads his soul back to the world of the living. Yeah, it sounds weird when you say it fast, but it was a pretty good movie. While not perfect, it was stylized with a gloomy and surreal comic book tone, similar to Tim Burton's Batman. That would be a good time to make a video game, right? No. There were no games based on The Crow. Nada. Diddly-fucking-squat. Then came the shitty sequel, The Crow: Shitty of Angels! Ho-ho! Now it's time to make a game! Ugh. All right, let's... pop this... fucking turd in here.