The Nerd in “Unfinished Business”

The Nerd

And at last, let's talk about the music. Don't expect to hear the familiar dark, mischievous Danny Elfman theme, no. In the tradition of all LJN games, they give ya somethin' original. [a snippet of the music plays] What kind of horseshit is this? This doesn't set the tone at all! It would be fine for other games. This is something you should hear if you're jumping around blowing bubbles in magic fairy-tale land, not a dark Tim Burton nightmare world. It would be like listening to... I don't know, the soundtrack to Mary Poppins while watching Requiem for a Dream? For this kind of inappropriate game soundtrack, we'll call it... "Bad Music". In conclusion, I could say the game is ass. It's a steaming pile of goat shit, horrible abomination of mankind, but the perfect way to sum it up... is it's an LJN game. It doesn't matter who actually developed it, they were hired by LJN. The welcome letter probably said something like this. "Welcome to our team of Laughing Joking Numbnuts. Here at LJN, we strive in creating the world's leading shitfests and providing to our customers the greatest raping of all their favorite films. We value your addition in helping us continue to grow the black plague of today's generation of gaming. Enclosed, you will find our handbook of policies and procedures in developing games with "Bouncing Bullshit", "Perpendicular Dick Ploys", "Bitch Barriers", "Inanimate Anal Assassinations", "Fruitless Farts", "Diarrhetic Diversions", "Freeform Fuckery", "Pinpoint Piss Taking", "Rat Trap Crap Shoots" and "Bad Music". We are proud to have you on board." Well, fuck this game, watch it go! [places the cartridge on the floor and smashes it to pieces with his foot] Hyah! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! It's showtime! I've seen The Exorcist 167 times, it keeps getting funnier every fucking time! Happy Halloween, motherfucker!