[after he plays Bubsy 3D: Furbitten Planet for the PlayStation] Most of the games I own are junk. I'm hoarding junk! I SURROUNDED MYSELF WITH FUCKING GARBAGE! [sighs] All right, one more game, and then it's Happy Holidays and good fucking night. Let's end with Spider-Man: Maximum Carnage, on Super Nintendo. Everyone says I should play this one, as if I haven't already played enough Spider-Man games. They're all terrible! But, maybe this one's okay. After all, I'm not sure how I missed it, because it's one of the only Super NES games that's red. Anyway, let's give it a try.
Well, the comic book cutscenes are, quite nice. The gameplay? Well, it's a beat-em-up game. Monotonous, but fun. The controls are responsive, and the hit detection works fine. The sound effects are good, the punches and grunts you hear all lend themselves to the fun, stress-relieving nature of these kind of games. It just feels good when you hit things. You can climb up on buildings, which offers some variety and breaks up the monotony. It can be a little frustrating, but not too bad. And the music is upbeat and energizing.
And what do I hear? ["The Mob Rules" by Black Sabbath plays] It's The Mob Rules, by Black Sabbath! I don't mean it just sounds similar, it's the same song, just a 16-bit rendition. It even does the solo! [16-bit rendition of Black Sabbath's "The Mob Rules" solo playing] I think it was just a rip-off, and that they never got Black Sabbath's permission, but it's still welcome to hear and adds to this games' enjoy-ability.
That's right. I found a good Spider-Man game. Better late than never. It's no masterpiece or anything like that, but it would have definitely been worth a rental at the very least. Who made this game?
[The Nerd turns over the box, revealing that is was published by...LJN! The Nerd's eyes widen in shock, and he drops the box in happiness realizing that LJN pulled through and published a decent game for once!]
["White Storm Dam" plays]
[in shock and happiness] My God. Oh, my God. THEY DID IT... THEY PULLED THROUGH! OH, MY GOD! THEY MADE A GAME... THAT'S NOT A STEAMING PILE OF FUCKIN' SHIT! OH, MY GOD! THEY DID IT! THEY MADE A GAME THAT'S NOT SHIT! I found a gold, at the end of the rainbow-- Oh, maybe it's not gold, maybe it's bronze or somethin', but... THEY MADE A GAME THAT'S NOT SHIT! IT'S NOOOT SHIIIIIT!
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