The Nerd in “Unfinished Business”

The Nerd

I'm losing my faith in the NES library. Was there any quality control here, you know, that-that, um, seal of quality, did that mean anything?! Did anyone look at these games before they dumped them in the back of every KB's and Toys "Я" Us?! How many of these games are worthless?! All the LJN ones, I can tell you that, but there are good games here, there are! Zelda, Mario, Metroid, Contra, Castlevania, Mega Man, but then, A BIG FUCKIN' SHITSTORM HIT IT! A SHITSTORM OF HORRIBLE GAMES! And at the middle of it all, a rainbow! A rainbow of shit! LJN! And Bill and Ted...might even be...THE WORST LJN GAME ON THE NES! It doesn't just have some "flaws," there's no good and bad. This game is all bad. Like, I'm impressed! How did they do it? How did they make it so bad? Bad doesn't even describe it! It's disgraceful! It's putrid! In fact, I even looked up the word "putrid" in the dictionary. There's no definition. It's just a picture of Bill and Ted on NES! Curse this fucking game! Curse the plastic that encases this dung heap! Literally, it's a plastic shell filled with shit! IT'S FUCKIN' SHIT! It's... it's ass, it's garbage... And that's it, good night.

The Nerd

Oh, wait, I forgot to mention as a matter of fact, it also sucks monkey fuck, and it's a worthless pitiful pile of snot-dripping, pus-bubbling, wet, steaming mountain of buffalo butt dump, and mere descriptions can't even describe the inane lack of common sense that even a child would possess when making a game with chalk on a sidewalk. I can't even come up with a description that's foul and disgusting enough to even come close to this rancid abomination. Can't describe it. I'm done; For real this time.

The Nerd

[yells] THIS GAME IS DIARRHEA COMING OUT OF AN OLD WOMAN'S BLEEDING VAGINA! IT'S FUCKIN' TERRIBLE! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! [angrily] I know; They weren't thinking.