The Nerd in “Unfinished Business”

The Nerd

The correct item is supposed to be something that would belong to this historical figure, and here is where the game could've been somewhat educational. But instead, it's a joke. For example, for Julius Caesar, you're supposed to give him salad dressing. [fake laugh] For Thomas Edison, you're supposed to give him a compact disc. Yeah. Let's not change history, by the way. For Cleopatra, a credit card. For Elvis, a gravestone. Here you go, Elvis! Here's your fucking gravestone! You're gonna die! For King Arthur, the Holy Grail. Yeah. Entire stories have been written about finding the Holy Grail; you're going to find it by casually slamming into a bush or fence. Just a little side quest. For Jesse James, an Uzi. You're going to give Jesse James a fucking Uzi? You're going to give a notorious outlaw a more contemporary weapon! Yeah, just help him out! Might as well give, I don't know, Vlad Tepes an atom bomb? Anyway, I give Rembrandt the Paint Roller, and he says, "Let's party." That's exactly what he'd say. He also mentions that he'll pay for the call. "Of course, here's some coins for your phone booth time machine from the future." And now, we have to go through the damn time circuits again. [a phone booth time machine runs into a pink skull, and The Nerd runs out of coins] My coins ran out. Didn't that motherfucker say he was gonna pay? [stage restarts] Aw, great! I have to roam around this fucking stage again, looking for coins? I've had enough.