(The Nerd plays the 2002 Rocky game on PlayStation 2, but the audience is severely glitching around, and the two boxers supposed to be in the ring are nowhere to be seen.)
Well, you sure packed quite a crowd tonight, Nerd! You sure did, standing room only...a full house of glitches! Ding ding ding! In this corner, we have weighing in at zero pounds and zero ounces, nothing! In this corner, we've got much of the same! Nothing!
No...
(As the in-game announcer repeats "Next up is a fight...")Do you hear that? What's that sound? Huh? Hm? Sounds of glitch. Your glitch. Enjoy it. (The Nerd resets his PS2, and the in-game combatants show up this time.) Nope. No use resetting. Not gonna do a thing.
Eh, fuck you. It's working now. (Spider Rico suddenly sinks into the floor.) What was that!?
I pulled him through the floor! That's a good one! Good one, Glitch Gremlin! (The Nerd looks on in shock as the fighters continuously sink to the floor. The Glitch Gremlin dances.) Oh yeah! I'm glitching! Get down, you bad self! Get down! Get down! Get down! Wooo!
Wow, I've never seen a game this fucked up. (He takes out the Rocky disc to clean it.)
(his reflection appears in the disc) Not gonna work, not gonna work. What time is it? Not-gonna-work o'clock. (The Nerd plays the game again, but now the in-game boxers have warped facial features.) In this corner, we have Bug-Eyed Balboa!
What happened to his mouth!?
His eyes are popping out! And in that corner, we've got Spider Rico, with no jaw! (He sinks into the floor, again.)
They're like zombies! What is this, "Rocky: The Undead Edition"? You are really one sick fuck, you know that? I'm gonna try Clubber Lang.
Oh, Clubber Lang, that could be a good one. Let's see what else I've got up my sleeves - oh, I'm not wearing any, but for my final show-stopper, FEAST YER EYES ON THIS! (The in-game model of Clubber Lang appears horrifically deformed and mis-assembled, heavily resembling a straight log of solid fecal matter. His left leg flashes between being visible and invisible, while his right leg does not appear at all. A baffled Nerd drops his controller while the Gremlin laughs gleefully.)
It's a Clubber-fuck!
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More The Angry Video Game Nerd quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Angry Video Game Nerd pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.