The Nerd in “Unfinished Business”

The Nerd

[after playing 51 of the 52 games] I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY SOLD THIS SHITFEST FOR $199! That's about how much it costs for a video game console, pretty much. You can take $199, stand on a bridge and just throw it all away! You'd rather do anything than spend it on a broken-down dysfunctional disaster of video game programming! With games that crash, hideous jumping control, random characters, microscopic sprites, a marathon of mediocre space shooters, dying in midair, problems with proportion, misleading titles, misleading power-ups, embarrassing weapons, seizure-inducing backgrounds, lack of enemies, games you can't win, games you can't lose, games that make no sense whatsoever, shitty graphics, shitty music, shitty menus, and a fuck-ton of other things! It should've been illegal for them to sell this rotten shitload of putrid fuck for any price! I feel humiliated to live on the same planet as someone who designed an electronic abomination of this magnitude! Couldn't they have tried making one good game, as opposed to 52 horrible games? Quality over quantity. That's our lesson here. [drinks Rolling Rock] Well, there's only one game left so it has one last chance to redeem itself. Could this all be the effort went into? Could there be a cherry on top of the shit sundae? We can only hope. [begins playing the 52nd game as the credits roll]