The Nerd in “Unfinished Business”

The Nerd

When they named this game Deadly Towers, they weren't kidding. The last time I saw towers this deadly was when they decided the horses need more fiber in their diets! This game is so fuckin' hard, it's easier to lift an elephant with my ass while singing Old MacDonald! This game is equal to that of liquid ass butter! Stay away from this horrible piece of shit-encrusted fuck! I'd rather suck farts out of a dog's ass! Das Spiel ist Scheiße! Dieses Spiel fickt dich härter als das Leben! (Translation: The game is shit! This game fucks you harder than life!) Well, I gave that a try. Anyway, this game isn't just your average turd. It's the kind of rancid, putrid, disgusting turd that sits in the bathroom truck stop for 20 something years until even the flies won't go near it. It's games like this that made me regret ever picking up an NES controller. This game is like a never-ending turd that bends around and goes into your mouth, thus creating an endless cycle of eating your own shit whilst taking a crap and occasionally puking up the same for all eternity! This is so bad, Satan wouldn't even accept it if you offered it with your soul! I'd rather suck the dried shit out of Chewbacca's ass fur! Fuck this game! No, better yet, don't fuck this game! Don't let your friends fuck it! It's unfuckworthy! This game is just an orgy of ass! This game is a chicken-lickin', finger-fuckin', son of a bitch! This game is ball cider! The Assholians bow down to this piece of shit! In other words, the game sucks.