Batnerd and Joker in “Unfinished Business”

And just when you thought you had the controls all figured out, you come to this part where you need to jump down. You'd expect to be able to just simply push Down, maybe in combination with the jump button. But, oh, that's right, there is no fuckin' jump button. It's Up. That would be pretty impressive, to be able to press Down and Up at the same time. Well, anyway, you try every combination imaginable, and guess what? It's Down and R! YEAH, R! That's not even one of the main buttons! WHY R?! And again, the R button has to be tapped slightly before you press Down.

And sometimes there isn't even a hole to tell you where you're able to do that! WHY IS EVERYTHING SO CRYPTIC?!

WH- THIS IS FUCKED BEYOND BELIEF!!! It's like, the controls in this game are like something you do for a cheat code, not a basic move that you HAVE TO DO in order to play the game! Why'd they program it in such an asinine, ball-brained, cockamamie, RIDICULOUS FASHION?! It's like, geez, there's four buttons right in the front of the controller! LIKE, THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO WORK WITH?! Instead, they have to, like, program it, like, all into, like, weird, kinda, crazy button combinations and shit?! It's like, what were they thinking?! It's like, up is jump?! Select for the grappling hook?! Select shouldn't even be part of the game, select should be like for the menus, or something. I mean, jeez, like, were they tryin' to just ruin this game? Just flat out, just fuck it up?! Well, they did. Batman Forever, it sucked back then, and it sucks forever!

[Batman voice] I'm Batmaaaaan. [throws "Batman Forever" to the floor]

[Batman voice] That's it. That's all the shitty Batman games I can take. The review's over.

Batman! Batman! You wanna play a really shitty Nintendo game, Batman? Well, how 'bout, Return of the Joker on the Nintendo Entertainment System, Batman?

[normal voice] Yeah, but I'm not really Batman, though.

You're not Batman?! Batman, you're Batman, I'm Batman! [laughs insanely] Come on, Batman, let's play! Come o- [Batnerd punches him in the face and picks him up]

I'm not playin' anymore shitty Batman games!

[chortles] Yes, you are! [water squirts out of the Joker's flower into the Batnerd's face] [laughs insanely] Ooh, Batman, let me give you a hand! [The Batnerd grabs the Joker's hand, and gets electrocuted by a joy buzzer while the Joker laughs and puts "Return of the Joker" into the NES Top Loader and the caption "TO BE CONTINUED..." appears on the screen]

[narrating] Will the Batnerd escape the Joker? What bad games does he have up his sleeve? Tune in next episode, same bat time, same bat channel!