Batnerd in “Unfinished Business”

Let's start with Batman: The Caped Crusader for the Commodore 64. This game came out a year before the Tim Burton movie, which makes it the only game on our list that's not movie-licensed.

You get a choice to fight against the Penguin or the Joker, but both games seem to be identical. I never really got far enough to find out. Every time you exit a screen, another panel pops up. I guess they were tryin' to make it look like a comic book, but it's just awkward.

The first enemies you encounter are what I think are toy airplanes and gargoyles, or bats, which take shits on ya. Yeah, if you look close enough, you can see the little shit bombs droppin' outta their asses.

The control is weird. As you can see the instruction manual explains it. To do different punches and kicks, you have to hold the joystick in a certain direction while hitting the button. It's also ridiculous tryin' to hit anybody; You have to be like a step away! And no matter how many times you hit somebody, they don't die! [fighting an enemy] Die! [continues attacking the enemy, who refuses to die] What the hell? [looks at the screen in shock]

There's also this annoying menu screen that keeps popping up. It took me a while to figure out that I activate this thing by pressing Down and the button.

So, I get to this menu by total accident, and I don't know what to do here. What is all this shit? "Restart game"? Who the fuck's talkin' about restarting? [tries to type "N", but the keyboard doesn't respond] Oh, the keypad's busted. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's another thing about the Commodore: It only works when it feels like it.

Well, anyway, the game sucks, gotta give it the Batman punishment! [Batman voice] I'm Batman. [throws the "Batman: The Caped Crusader" Commodore 64 disk to the ground]