The Nerd in “Unfinished Business”

The Nerd

[from the HQ and DVD version] It's time for an update because now I have Jack Bros., thank you very much. It's like I talk about shit, and somebody sends me shit. So, let's give it a look and make this whole episode complete. Jack Bros., here we go. It's in Japanese, and since this game's story based, I'm not gonna be able to read any of the text. But the story doesn't concern us; we wanna know how it plays. You get a choice of three characters who look like Halloween mascots. Jack Frost, Jack Lantern, and a skeleton named Jack the Ripper. He's the coolest character, but his attack is just a sword, while the rest of the characters can shoot projectiles. That's real deceiving! It's almost like they planned it that way. Obviously, you're gonna pick the fuckin' skeleton, but they give him the shittiest weapon! So it plays like a typical overhead view, where you have to fight monsters, collect keys, and find an exit before time runs out. Instantly, it reminds me of Gauntlet. And that's not a bad thing. For such a rare game, it's not half-bad. But it doesn't utilize the Virtual Boy in any unique way. It goes 3-D a little, when you drop to a lower platform, but overall, it just comes down to the same thing: this should've been on Game Boy. This has nothing to do with Virtual Reality! I don't feel like I'm there! They didn't even TRY to make it virtual! Instead, they were just jacking off! And that takes care of the whole Virtual Boy catalogue.