The Nerd in “Unfinished Business”

The Nerd

(sighs) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (he slaps the tape back into its case as it starts to fall out) SUCKS SHIT! Not even regular shit. Putrid, barfed-out roadkill diarrhea shit. Now you might be sayin', "Well that's your opinion." Well yeah, it is. It's my opinion, that it's a motherfuckin' fact, that this pile of dog shit called Ninja Turtles III is the most god-awful disgrace in human existence! Now, I know you've seen a lot of bad movies. But, no, let me tell you, this movie is BAD. Like, how bad? Like, is it the worst of the Turtles trilogy? Oh, undeniably, but that's not the point. My point, is that this is the worst fuckin' movie I've ever seen in my life! Now, I can tell you from the perspective of a 12-year-old and a 26-year-old, that it needs to rot in Hell, in Satan's asshole. Now what I mean by that is I was 12 the first time I saw the movie, in the theaters in 1993, and I was such a big Turtle fan, I just accepted it. I just held the truth inside. And, you know it's just been tearin' away at me all these years. And now, lookin' back at it, I just gotta come clean and honest, man. I just gotta let it all out. THIS MOVIE... is FUCKIN' TERRIBLE! (punches the tape)