Holy shit! That’s the sex tape!
Yep, porn on a phone.
iPorn!
You what?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
RLRobert Lindus
You and Mr. Pollack are private detectives?
Well, on our tax returns it says we sell seashells by the seashore, but we moonlight. A bit.
[giving Gretchen an alimony check] I swear it won't bounce.
GDGretchen Dolworth
Your life bounces.
Aw, we've been in worse situations. I can't think of any off the top of my head, but they're there.
No, not like this. I say we cut bait. And not like before. I mean we cut bait cut bait. We grab our fishing pole, we head down to San Philippe, and we throw away our fishing pole.
GGirl
So you two are partners?
Well, we're only recognized in Vermont and Massachusetts.
As a rule I don't like getting my ass kicked for free.
[Hank borrows a jacket from a dry-cleaner to visit the track]
This thing itches.
That because it belongs to a rich person.
It smells like your bedroom in here.
That was a one-night thing, quit bragging about it."
WWoman
Makes you long for the days of an actual garage attendant.
Yeah. It's machines taking human jobs. That's what happened with my job.
WWoman
Yeah? What did you do?
I used to be a microwave oven.
Let me tell you something, man. An hour ago, the world was a bleak and pitiless place. And after a trip to prison... all seems right with the universe.
We frame a guy for a crime he did commit, and then somebody else comes along and frames him better? What, Captain Paranoid?! I mean, except about... The first part.
Okay, I'm gonna hit resume on the cruise control, pop the brake and then step back. You ready?
Yeah, because I don't have to do anything.
...right.
[Hank and Gustafson are at the Mexican border crossing]
A suspected felon with a kidnapped American in his trunk gets through right [snaps fingers] like that. We gotta wait.
Well, you got 300,000 people that go through every day. Can't search um all.
Usually the Mexicans don't search anyone. I say in this case resort to racial profiling. Let every clean cut Anglo-Saxon American male right through. Except, I'm not really clean cut, am I? And you're... you're Swedish?
You get your sweatshirt?
Yeah. Hey, Britt's in the trunk.
BBlodgett
What can they do to her? They're in a hotel full of people.
SSwift
Tell that to Bobby Kennedy.[off everyone's shocked stares]Oh, really? That's too soon?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Terriers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.