Coach Finstock quotes from Teen Wolf

[to the cross-country team] Listen up. The meet's been pushed 'til tomorrow. This is the closest motel with the most vacancies and the least amount of good judgment when it comes to accepting a bunch of degenerates like yourselves. You'll be pairing up. Choose wisely. And, I'll have no sexual perversions perpetrated by you little deviants! You got that? Keep your dirty little hands to your dirty little selves!

[to Stiles] You know, Stilinski, if I could grade you on how profoundly you disturb me, you'd be an A+ student.

The reading of the Gettysburg Address.

Scott

What?

That's sarcasm. Are you familiar with the term sarcasm, McCall?

Scott

(Looking at Stiles) Very. (Stiles smirks proudly)

Stiles

I'm playing? On the field? With the team?

Yes, unless you'd rather play with yourself.

Stiles

I already did that today. Twice.

Kira

[about Meredith] Coach, you can't let them take her back. It's hard to explain, but if you let her go back, then really, really bad things are going to happen to Lydia, to Scott, and Stiles, and maybe everyone, including you. So, please, please don't let them take her.

...Who are you?

Kira

[awkwardly] Um... I'm Kira. I'm new?

Liam

[nervously] Then, Stiles said that Scott and Kira were stuck in Mexico, which is why they missed the game. Uh, so we went down to Mexico to drive them back from Mexico, and that's why we all missed practice. [Coach glares at him] ...'Cause... we were all in Mexico.

[to Scott] You took Kira on a date to Mexico?

Scott

[awkwardly] ...It was our first real date?

In Mexico?

Stiles

...They wanted to do something special?

Okay. I believe you.

Liam

[relieved] Really?

Absolutely not. But, I've had experiences south of the border that would knock the genitals off you boys.

[to Scott and Stiles about Liam] Still, let me be clear to you two. This kid's the best talent I've seen in years. So, he's your responsibility now. You boys are gonna stick together. You're gonna look out for each other. And, you're gonna have each other's backs. You got it?

Scott

We got it.

[to Scott] I swear to God, McCall, if you don't get Dunbar out here in three, this will be your last day as assistant coach.

Scott

This is my last day as assistant coach.

I can still dock your pay.

Scott

I'm a volunteer. [reaches down to grab the whistle hanging around his neck] Do you want my whistle?

Who gave you a whistle?

[to Scott] Assistant coach! What exactly are you doing?

Scott

Drills?

You're giving them hope! When did I ever give you hope?

Scott

Never.

Exactly! Nothing motivates more than withering criticism.

Who is that kid? He's spectacular!

Scott

Coach, that's Liam.

Well, how the hell am I supposed to tell them apart? They're all wearing the same thing!

Scott

They've got numbers on their jerseys.