(while reading Penny's diary) I've decided I'm going to give Stan my most precious gift...
Wow, that sounded really creepy coming out of your mouth.
I think I delivered it.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
So what kind of thing likes virgins and gold?
P. Diddy?
You know, it's comforting.
What's that?
I died for a year, came back, and you're still not funny.
What do you know about dragons?
What? Nothing.
Seriously.
Well, they're not like the Loch Ness monster, Dean. Dragons aren't real.
Could you make a few calls?
To who? Hogwarts?!
Castiel, um...I'm back. So, if you got a minute...
Sam. It's so good to see you alive.
Yeah. You too.
( Castiel walks over to hug Sam, but Sam sits down instead.)
Um...Look, I-I would hug you, but—
—it would be awkward.
Um...so crazy year, huh? I-I just talked to Bobby. He told me everything that happened.
Frankly, I'm surprised that you survived. I was begging Dean not to do it.
Yeah. No, I-I-I can understand that.
You know, it's a miracle it didn't kill you.
Yeah. Yeah, it's a miracle, all right.
So, how does it feel?
What?
Well, to have your soul back, of course.
Right. Y-you mean 'cause I was walking around with no soul. Uh... Really good, Cas. I'm real good. You know what? I'm—I'm just hazy on a few of the details, though. Um... You think maybe you could...walk me through?
WWoman
Where's your partner? The big bald guy? Agent Wynand, right?
Agent Wynand, of course. Well -
Sex rehab. Yeah, you've heard of plushies, right?
One of dad's rules? You never use the same crapper twice.
Everyone uses the same crapper twice.
Not us... You know what I mean.
(leaving a voicemail for Sam) I found the connection between the missing chicks. They all banged the same dude. You.
My spidey senses are tingling.
Sam, you-you gotta understand that all that crap last year, all of it, none of it was you.
Let's be crystal clear, okay? It was me.
(walks away) Can I get you anything?
What are you now, my waitress?
I'm just trying to make you feel better, don't be a bitch.
Yeah, I'm fine.
(sarcastic) Yeah, you look fine. (serious) All I'm saying is everything's gonna be okay.
I don't know Dean, if I did this here, then who knows how many oth— (Sam falls to the floor in a violent seizure)
Sammy? Sam?! Sammy, talk to me!
(Sam has a flash back to his soul burning and screaming in Hell)
How do you feel?
Like I got hit by a... planet.
How long was I out again?
I'm tellin' you, like two or three minutes. Why, what'd it feel like to you?
'bout a week, give or take.
Dean, I might have done... who knows what. And you want me to just forget about it?
You shove it down, and you let it come out in spurts of violence and alcoholism.
That sounds healthy.
Well, it works for me.
Wait, that anatomy dummy you were molesting at the lab.
Excuse me?
What if that's what this is about?
What exactly are you accusing me of?
[to Dean] My phone rings, I think: tiny chance it's you, big chance it's Sam calling to tell me you're died.
They put frickin' makeup on us! Those bastards!
Look, I think I know what this is.
Okay, what?
It's a TV show.
(sarcastic) You think?!
Well, I mean, here, wherever here is, thi-this Twilight Zone Balthazar zapped us into... for whatever reason, our life is a TV show.
Why?
I don't know.
No, seriously, why? Why would anybody wanna watch our lives?
Well according to the interviewer, not many people do.
I'm just saying we landed in some dimension where you're Jensen Ackles, and I'm something called a Jared Padalecki.
Oh, so what, now you're Polish?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Supernatural pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.