So was I right? Was it the serial killing chimney-sweep?
Yep. It's uh, it's actually Dick Van Dyke.
Who?
Mary Poppins.
Who's that?
Oh, come on. Never mind.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I mean, I'm just saying, that there's some version of the anti-Claus in every culture. You've got Belsnickel, Krampus, Black Peter, whatever you want to call it there's all sorts of lore.
Saying what?
Saying back in the day, Santa' brother went rogue and now he shows up around Christmas-time, but instead of bringing presents he punishes the wicked.
By hauling their asses up chimneys.
For starters, yeah.
So this is your theory, huh? Santa's shady brother?
What are you talking about? We had some great Christmases.
Whose childhood are you talking about?
Oh, come on, Sam.
No, just... no.
All right, Grinch.
Christmas is Jesus' birthday.
No, Jesus' birthday was probably in the fall. It was actually the Winter Solstice Festival that was co-opted by the church and renamed Christmas. But I mean the Yule log, the tree, even Santa's red suit, that's all remnants of Pagan worship.
How do you know that? What're you gonna tell me next? The Easter Bunny's Jewish?
MCMadge Carrigan
This might pinch a bit, dear. [cuts Dean's arm]
Ah! You bitch!
MMadge
Oh, my goodness me! Somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar. Oh, do you know what I say when I feel like swearing? "Fudge."
I'll try and remember that.
Aw, you fudgin' touch me again, I'll FUDGIN' KILL YA!
MMadge
Better!
I hate witches. They're always spewing their bodily fluids everywhere.
Pretty much.
It's creepy. Hell, it's downright unsanitary!
They killed the nut job. Should we, uh, thank them or what?
They're working black magic, too, Dean. They need to be stopped.
Stopped like, stopped? They're human, Sam.
They're murderers.
Burn, witch, burn.
It's not so simple. We're not, we're not just hunting anymore. We're at war.
Are you feeling okay?
[sighs] Why are you always asking me that?
'Cause you're taking advice from a demon, for starters. And by the way, you seem less and less worried about offing people. You know, it used to eat you up inside.
Yeah, and what has that gotten me?
Nothing, but it's just what you're supposed to do, okay? We're supposed to drive in the friggin' car, and friggin' argue about this stuff. You know, you go on about the sanctity of life and all that crap.
Wait, so you're mad because I'm starting to agree with you?
No, I'm not mad, I'm-I'm... I'm worried, Sam. I'm worried because you're not acting like yourself.
Yeah you're right, I'm not. I don't have a choice?
What is that supposed to mean?
Look, Dean, you're leaving, right? And I got to stay here in this crap-hole of a world... alone. So, the way I see it, if I'm gonna make it, if I'm gonna fight this war after you're gone, then I gotta change.
Change into what?
Into you. I gotta be more like you.
So let me get this straight. You were human once. You died, you went to Hell, and you became a...
RRuby
Yeah.
How long ago?
RRuby
Back when the plague was big.
So all of them? What, every damn demon, they were all human once?
RRuby
Every one I've ever met.
Well they sure don't act like it.
RRuby
Most of them have forgotten what it means, or even that they were. That's what happens when you go to Hell, Dean. That's what Hell is. Forgetting what you are.
RRuby
The answer is, "Yes," by the way.
Sorry?
RRuby
Yes, same thing will happen to you. It might take centuries, but sooner or later, Hell will burn away your humanity. Every hell-bound soul, every one, turns into something else. Turns you into us, so, yeah. Yeah, you can count on it.
There's no way of saving me from the Pit, is there?
RRuby
[sighs] No.
There you are. What are you doing?
Having a drink.
It's two in the afternoon. Drinking whiskey?
I drink whiskey all the time.
No, you don't.
But really, the thing is, no one can save you.
What I've been telling you.
No, that's not what I mean. I mean no one can save you because you don't want to be saved.
So, what was Bobby doing in Pittsburgh?
Unless he was taking an extremely lame vacation...
NDNightmare Dean
What are the things that you want? What are the things that you dream? I mean, your car — that's Dad's. Your favorite leather jacket — Dad's. Your music — Dad's. Do you even have an original thought? No. No, all there is is, "Watch out for Sammy. Look after your little brother, boy!" You can still hear your dad's voice in your head, can't you? Clear as a bell.
Just shut up.
NDNightmare Dean
I mean, think about it. All he ever did was train you, boss you around. But Sam, Sam he doted on. Sam, he loved.
I mean it. I'm getting angry.
NDNightmare Dean
Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died! Why should you?
Son of a bitch! My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me about protecting Sam, that was his crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family! He... He's the one who let Mom die, who wasn't there for Sam! I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me, and I don't deserve to go to Hell! [shoots the Nightmare version]
[...]
NDNightmare Dean
[with black, demon eyes] You can't escape me, Dean! You're gonna die, and this... this is what you're gonna become!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Supernatural pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.