William Riker quotes from Star Trek: The Next Generation

Troi

My mother is beginning a physiological phase. It's one that all Betazoid women must deal with as they enter mid-life.

Riker

Yes, it's something Troi warned me about when we first started to see each other. A Betazoid woman, when she goes through this phase, quadruples her sex drive.

Troi

It seems, Captain, that you are the early favorite. (to become her mother's husband)

Riker

Congratulations, sir!

Picard

I'm not amused, Number One.

Riker

How’d you like command?

Worf

Comfortable chair.

Jean-Luc Picard

Pursuant to paragraph one thousand, two hundred and ninety, I hereby formally request third party arbitration of our dispute.

You have the right.

Jean-Luc Picard

Furthermore, pursuant to subsection D3, I name ... the Grizzelas to arbitrate.

Grizzelas?

William Riker

(mouths) Grizzelas?

Jean-Luc Picard

Unfortunately, they are currently in their hibernation cycle. However, they will awaken in six months, at which time we can get this matter settled. Now, do you want to wait... or give me my three weeks?

Absurd! We carry the membership! We can brook no delay!

Jean-Luc Picard

Then I hereby declare this treaty in abeyance.

Wait! Negotiation is permiss...!

William Riker

You enjoyed that.

Jean-Luc Picard

You're damned right.

How do you allow Klingon peta'Q to walk around in a Starfleet uniform?

Worf

You are lucky this is not a Klingon ship. We know how to deal with spies.

Remove this tohzah from my sight!

Riker

Your knowledge of Klingon curses is impressive. But, as a Romulan might say, only a veruul would use such language in public.

Success, Captain?

Jean-Luc Picard

Number One, note in your report that if the government of Angosia survives the night, we will offer Federation assistance in the efforts to reprogram their veterans.

And if the government doesn't survive?

Jean-Luc Picard

I have a feeling they will choose to.

Q

The Calamarain are not very hospitable creatures. They exist as swirls of ionised gas.

Picard

What did you do to them, Q?

Q

Nothing bizarre, nothing grotesque.

Riker

You tormented them.

Q

A subjective term, Riker. One creature's torment, is another creature's delight. They simply have no sense of humour, a character flaw with which you can personally identify.

Riker

I say we turn him over to them.

Q

Oh, I take it back. You do have a sense of humour. A dreadful one at that.

Riker

I'm serious.

Riker

[After Q gives him two attractive women] I don't need your fantasy women!

Q

Oh, you're so stolid! You weren't like that before the beard.

You're destroying yourself and anyone who is foolish enough to listen to you!

Riker

You've shown none of the concern that Captain Picard would for the safety of his ship, the welfare of his crew.

Jean-Luc Picard

Is the entire crew aware of this little scheme to send me off on holiday?

William Riker

I believe there are two ensigns stationed on deck 39 who know nothing about it.

Data

[handing his weapon to Riker] A Varon-T disruptor. It belongs to Fajo.

Riker

Mr O'Brien says the weapon was in a state of discharge.

Data

Perhaps something occurred during transport, Commander.

Riker

Is it my imagination, or have tempers become a little frayed on the ship lately?

Worf

I hadn't noticed.

Worf

I see what you mean.

Riker

...Geordi, what the hell is going on here!?

Geordi

I wish I knew!

I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been… is over. From this time forward, you will service… us.

Riker

Mr. Worf... fire.

William Riker

They couldn't have adapted that quickly!

[to Riker] The knowledge and experience of the human Picard is part of us now. It has prepared us for all possible courses of action. Your resistance is hopeless... Number One.

Riker

Now, how the hell do we defeat an enemy that knows us better than we know ourselves?

Worf

The Borg have neither honour nor courage. That is our greatest advantage.