Data quotes from Star Trek: The Next Generation

Data

For Commander Riker's sake, I hope my hypothesis is in error.

Picard

Unfortunately, Commander Data, your hypotheses rarely are.

Data

Captain. Doctor. I am honoured by your presence, but may I suggest you attend the second concert.

Beverly Crusher

Why, Data?

Data

Ensign Ortiz will perform the violin part. My rendition will be less enjoyable.

Jean-Luc Picard

Oh?

Data

Although I am technically proficient, according to my fellow performers, I lack soul.

Beverly Crusher

Data, telling us why you're going to fail before you make the attempt is never wise.

Data

But is not honesty always the preferred choice?

Jean-Luc Picard

Excessive honesty can be disastrous, particularly in a commander.

Data

Indeed?

Jean-Luc Picard

Knowing your limitations is one thing. Advertising them to a crew can damage your credibility as a leader.

Data

Because you will lose their confidence?

Beverly Crusher

And you may begin to believe in those limitations yourself.

I really was willing to stay here and die for this.

Data

I know that. This is just a thing, and things can be replaced. Lives cannot.

Do you have any feelings for me?

Data

I have no feelings of any kind.

Picard

It is exactly as they left it, Number One. In the bottle. [seeing his confusion]... The ship in the bottle. [further confusion] Good Lord, didn't anybody here build ships in bottles when they were boys?

Worf

I did not play with toys.

Data

I was never a boy.

[brightly] I did, sir.

Picard

Thank you, Mister O'Brien. Proceed.

[defensively] I did! I really did! Ships in bottles? Great fun!

Geordi La Forge

You know, if this doesn't work, the thought of spending the rest of my life in here is none too appealing.

Data

There is a bright side, Geordi. You will have me to talk to.

Data

Captain, I am detecting life readings from the planet surface, as well as several small areas of thermal radiation and carbon dioxide emissions, indicative of combustion.

Wesley Crusher

Campfires, Data.

Data

Is that not what I said?

Lt Cmdr. Data

[on the transport device of the terrorists] Captain, anyone who is willing to transport in this manner would suffer significant internal damage that could be detected.

Capt. Jean-Luc Picard

It sounds as though they may require the services of a doctor.

Lt Cmdr. Data

But if that is so, Captain, why are their methods so often successful? I've been reviewing the history of armed rebellion, and it appears that terrorism is an effective way to promote political change.

Capt. Jean-Luc Picard

Yes, it can be. But I have never subscribed to the theory that political power flows from the barrel of a gun.

Lt Cmdr. Data

Yet there are numerous examples when it was successful: the independence of the Mexican state from Spain, the Irish Unification of 2024, and the Kenzie Rebellion.

Capt. Jean-Luc Picard

Yes, I am aware of them.

Lt Cmdr. Data

Then would it be accurate to say that terrorism is acceptable, when all options for peaceful settlement have been foreclosed?

Capt. Jean-Luc Picard

Data, these are questions that mankind has been struggling with throughout history. Your confusion is… only human.

Q

Can I have a Starfleet uniform? What are you looking at?

Data

I was considering the possibility that you are telling the truth, that you really are human.

Q

It's the ghastly truth, Mr. Data. I can now stub my toe with the best of them.

Data

An irony. It means that you have achieved in disgrace what I have always aspired to be.

Q

This is incredible!

Geordi

You see something, Q?

Q

I think I just hurt my back. I'm feeling pain. I don't like it. What's the right thing to say?

"Ow."

Q

Ow!

Data

Can you recommend a way to counter the effect?

Q

Simple. Change the gravitational constant of the universe.

Geordi La Forge

What?

Q

Change the gravitational constant of the universe, thereby altering the mass of the asteroid!

Geordi

Redefine gravity. And how am I supposed to do that?!

Q

You just do it!

Q

I'll have 10 chocolate sundaes.

Data

I have never seen anyone eat 10 chocolate sundaes.

Q

I'm in a really bad mood. And since I've never eaten before, I should be very hungry.

Guinan

I hear they drummed you out of the Continuum.

Q

I like to think of it as a significant career change.

Q

One of the boys with an IQ of 2005.

Data

The Captain and many of the crew are not yet convinced he is truly human.

Guinan

Really?

Q

AAAAAHHHH!!!

Q

All right, everyone, this is what we're going to be doing.

Q, everybody already knows what they're going to do, except for you, Now here's what I need.

Q

La Forge, obviously my knowledge and experience far exceed yours by about a billion times. So, if you'll just step aside gracefully.

Q, your experience will be most valuable to me if you can manually control the field integrity.

Q

Don't be foolish. That would be a waste of my talents.

Q, get to the controls or get the hell out of here! Data, you're my liaison to the Bridge. I'll need you with me.

Q

Who does he think he is, giving me orders?

Data

Geordi thinks he is in command here...and he is correct.