[A mail truck drives through the mountain range. Patchy is driving the truck. He appears to be parodying S.D. Kluger from the song "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town."]
Merry Christmas, kids! I bet you're wondering why ol' Patchy has this mail truck. Well, this year, I wanted to be absolutely sure Santa got me letter, so I gave Mr. Mailman the day off.
[He puts his pirate hat on the mailman tied up and gagged in the back of the truck, puts on his mailman hat and closes the door]
Do you even know how to get to the North Pole?
Oh, Potty, you silly parrot. Everyone knows that the directions to the North Pole are in the lyrics of the song "Jingle Bells." ♪Dashing through the snow, in a... [Mumbles] Through the fields we go. Fa la la la la.♪ Okay. So we're looking for some fields here.
No, Patchy, the directions to the North Pole are in the song, "There Goes Santa Claus." ♪There goes Santa Claus. There goes Santa Claus. Left on Santa Claus Drive.♪ Scurvy brain.
Yeah, well, we ain't turnin' till we see some fields.
Look out! There's a fork in the road!
I don't see no fork.
[The truck spins after the fork gets caught in the tire and they both scream.]
While we wait for the truck to stop spinning, let's see what SpongeBob is up to this Christmas.
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