Clark, Scott and others in “Basic Cable”

Look at that. Look. Two hundred and forty channels of anything we wanna watch. No accounts! No fucking passwords! Just pure, simple, basic cable.

[enters the house] Mom! Dad! Guess what?

[switching channels] Not now, Scott. Your mom and I are enjoying watching whatever we want and not signing up for anything.

But Dad, there's this new girl in school, and she has... diabetes!

Oh, that's wonderful, Scott.

Yeah. And guess what? She wants to come over to our house! So we HAVE to get Disney+!

Oh, not this shit again! The answer is NO!

Dad, please! This is my life!

Streaming services are destroying our culture, Scott! People got a thousand shows at their fingertips 24/7, so Hollywood has to make shows within their shows to make more shows!

But, Dad, what's wrong with people watching what they wanna watch when they wanna watch it?

[mockingly] "What's wrong with people watching what they wanna watch when they wanna watch it? I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes." [walks off]

[infuriated] UNBELIEVABLE!