[reading morning announcements over the intercom to the school] Good morning, South Park Elementary. These are the morning announcements. Parent-teacher conferences begin next Thursday. If you have not yet done so, please turn in your parents' requested time sheets by the end of fifth period today. Lunch today will be a choice of chicken tostadas or spaghetti with a marinara sauce and side salad. Attention fourth graders: the fall registration for Glee Club starts tomorrow. Any interested students should fill out a-- [is interrupted when a door is heard being kicked in] Whoa, what's going on? [everyone in Fourth Grade classroom looks up at the speaker in surprise]
I'll kill you! I swear to God I'll kill you!
Who are you?
I'm the man who's gonna put a bullet between your eyes!
Hey! He's got a gun!
You little bastard! You fucked my wife! You think I wouldn't find out?
Sir, please, I don't know you.
Yeah, right!
[intervening] All right, what the hell is going on around here? You, sir, need to leave this area. [the intruder kills the man with two shots, causing alarm to people in classroom]
[shouts] Oh God, he shot him!
You had to push me, didn't ya?! Now, you!
[shouts in terror] Sir, I truly don't know-- [the intruder hits him; Gordon screams some more]
There! How's it feel, huh?
[shouting hysterically] Please! I don't know you!
You're Gordon Saltski, right? Truck driver from Chicago?
No, I'm Gordon Stoltski, third grader who reads the morning announcements!
Yeah, right! We'll see if that's true. Go on, read the morning announcements.
[shouting] SOMEBODY HELP ME!
I said do it! [hits Gordon]
Now where was I? Oh, yeah. [continues reading] Any interested students should fill out an applicant survey-- [more hitting and shouting]
I knew you were lyin'! That was terrible! Now put your mouth over the barrel of this gun!
[softly] No, please! I'm so scared! I'm so scared!
Do it!
[freakout] Please! I'll do whatever you say! Here! Here I see! Here! [his voice is now muffled, indicating the gun barrel is now in his mouth; the gun goes off and Gordon is heard falling to the floor, dead]
Look at you now. We're all dead. [commits suicide. By now, nearly everyone in the classroom is in shock]
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