[to Keith] You looked so intense the way you pointed your little alarm thingy at the car. Like, "Fuck you, car. Now you're locked!"
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I felt so free for a week. But then, all of a sudden, within days I went from "Yay, I'm independent" to "Holy fuck, I'm gonna die alone."
So, what if I just shut the door on Keith, like he's dead to me... I'll just end up replacing him with someone else, the same way that mom is replacing you with George. Is that all life is? We just go through it replacing people?
Pretty much. Some people just do it faster and more often than others."
[after sex] Do you think we were too loud?
It's possible that we were too loud, yes.
What's so strange?
I don't know … the thought that I just got blown in the same bed where my mom used to read me the "Runaway Bunny."
So, Keith.
So what about him?
You guys are back together?
No.
He was there this morning.
He was a little drunk last night, I let him stay over. I was being polite.
Polite and horny.
BBarb
Lisa didn't believe in borders, and that is why I know that wherever Lisa is right now, she's everywhere! She's everywhere, and that means she's home!
[Claire has just told Russell she was pregnant by him and has had an abortion.]
Look, I'm sorry. I didn't …
Just give me a second, okay? … Just give me a second to get used to the idea of living with this for the rest of my life.
Are you fucking kidding me?
No, I'm not kidding you, Claire! It's fucking sad! It's fucking sad and it's fucked up. I mean, did you cry? Did you?
I cried more than you have ever cried in your whole life.
[breaks down] Then give me a fucking second to feel bad about this, okay? Just a motherfucking second!
Who in the world would send you feces in the mail?
I can't do this any more!
What are you saying?
I'm saying I quit. I've got to find another kind of life for myself. And not just for myself, but for Maya, too.
Did you know that the average American changes careers seven times during his or her lifetime?
Is that information supposed to be useful in some way, George?
It's just a fact.
I quit my job.
I quit my fucking life.
No, you got fired.
Here's a poem dedicated to every guy I've ever been with: "Your Penis Is Kinda Nice, Too Bad You're Attached to It!"
[about Arthur] Maybe we should buy him a whole new wardrobe. Do they ever do that? Queer Eye for the Gay Guy.
I don't think Arthur's gay. I think he's A.
I don't know. I think asexual people are asexual because they don't wanna come out of the closet.
Geology is controversial?
Oil, Claire, oil!
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