TV QuotesDatabase
S1 E15

Silicon Valley · Season 1, Episode 15

Erlich and Monica in “Unfinished Business”

Go for Erlich.

Thanks for outing me.

You're gay? That explains so much.

No, outing me for smoking. I was heading home when my insane boss called me into the conference room for some kind of anti-smoking intervention. "No one ever died from secondhand heroin." Yeah, she said that. What did you say?

I said nothing. Jian-Yang may have... let a little something slip to your boy Friday, but don't worry, I covered with aplomb.

That little weasel tells Laurie everything.

On that topic, what did you think of his app?

The fundamental idea is sound. An app that helps parents find the least crowded playgrounds.

Good. So you understood him.

The problem is, he's basically created the perfect tool for pedophiles to find victims.

Yes, and pedophiles are typically not early-adopters, so we would miss out on that whole market. That's problematic. Well, we'll tweak it when we present it to your boss.

I don't think what I saw was close to ready for Laurie.

Oh, really, Monica? I'm sorry that your boss unearthed your filthy little secret, but believe it or not I actually tried to have your back, and I was hoping you might do the same for me. Then again, your judgment is suspect. You are a smoker.

I smoke a few cigarettes a week! Fine, I'll ask Laurie for five minutes, but that's it. And tell Jian-Yang he better bring it.

Monica, we may never know what indecipherable Chinese province Jian-Yang comes from, but I know this much, Jian-Yang was born to bring it. And you have got to try women, I mean, just give it a chance... [Monica hangs up]

More from this episode

All quotes from this episode →

More Silicon Valley quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Silicon Valley pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.