Nikki quotes from Silent Witness

Nikki

[on phone to Leo] Call me as soon as you hear from KAD. Tell him if he wants to come round I'll make him his favourite cup-a-soup.

Harry

so did you two decide what we were gonna do?

Nikki

Not really. [to Leo] Did we?

Harry

Film? [Everyone shakes heads] We may as well go home.

Leo

I've got a deck of cards.

Nikki

I've got a bottle of wine in my desk.

Leo

Funnily enough I've got a bottle of wine in my desk.

Harry

Why haven't I got a bottle of wine in my desk?

Nikki

You just quietly swig ethanol from the specimen jars don't you?

Leo

So...what's it to be?

Harry

Poker? You know why poker is called poker? (to Nikki)

Nikki

Have you ever played a game called punch in the face?

Leo

A lot of people want to play that game with Harry.

Harry

For the 50th time you are sitting at my desk.

Nikki

Does it matter?

Harry

Yes it does. Stand up. Stand here. Take five paces back. Take two steps to your left. Sit down and familiarise yourself with the foul detritus that is your workspace.

Harry

Shall we find a pub?

Nikki

Yes.

Harry

Unless you want to hear Dr Havillard on learning to love the liver?

Nikki

No.

Harry

I could never learn to love the liver again.

Nikki

Why?

Harry

Because it treated me so badly

Nikki

And all that stuff about a monogamous commitment to our profession. I mean it's so depressing.

Harry

She's gonna say that isn't she. She's a prune with no children and no friends and little obvious social life.

Nikki

Like me?

Harry

What?

Nikki

Well it is like me. I'm thirty, single, boringly diligent, off-puttingly committed to my work. I am going to be a prune.

Harry

Shut up.

Nikki

It's true. I'm going to wither on the vine.

Harry

I think that would make you a raisin wouldn't it?

Nikki

Raisin or prune it's not exactly what a girl dreams of when she's growing up.

Harry

I'm sure you'll be snapped up by some rich and handsome dried fruit seller.

Nikki

Exactly. The only man I'll ever find is some loner with a fetish for shrivelled produce.

Harry

Oh shut up.

Nikki

I'll end up stiff and cold like some badly wigged mannequin in a scary local museum. Someone will show me as an exhibit. This is Dr Alexander our 92 year old pathologist. Remarkably Dr Alexander is now completely desiccated apart from the tiny muscles which operate her rusty scalpel.

Harry

Now she shuts up.

Harry

Morning. Sleep well?

Nikki

Like a baby.

Harry

Some babies don't sleep.

Nikki

This one did.

Harry

How are you feeling?

Nikki

I told you. I feel fine. I haven't broken out in boils or anything.

Harry

Haven't you?

Nikki

Shouldn't you be at a crime scene?

Harry

Probably.

Nikki

Then why aren't you?

Harry

Because I'm here with you. Boil face.

Harry

What are you doing here?

Nikki

Why exactly has he got us out of bed at this time?

Harry

Because he 'is' Bob Mumford.

Nikki

You won't mind if I leave you to renew your beautiful working rapport then?

Harry

You might as well see the body.

Nikki

Do you need a second opinion?

Harry

Yeah I do. It may be a complex case and I may need back up.

Nikki

Alright. You start. Can I borrow your phone charger?

Harry

Borrow the phone charger, have the stereo, widdle on the front seat if you like. Just please don't leave me alone with that man.

Nikki

It just upsets me that the only way I discover this is by reading a letter in your car.

Harry

That's such a girl's remark. So suddenly this is something I've done wrong.

Nikki

Have you told Leo?

Harry

Yeah as it happens.

Nikki

You've told Leo?

Harry

Earlier this morning...

Nikki

Well you saw me first thing this morning. Why didn't you tell me?

Harry

Cause I wasn't sure how you'd react.

Nikki

Well what did you think Harry. That I'd crawl around the science room wailing please don't go? How pathetic do you think I am?

Harry

This is exactly the kind of thing that makes me want to....

Nikki

Exactly the kind of thing that makes you want to what?

Harry

To have a job where I can just sit and work and think and not have to deal with diplomacy and office politics and idiots like Mumford yacking in my ear!

Nikki

Oh I'm very sorry for being a yacking idiot!

Harry

That is unfair. You know I did not mean you.

Nikki

No no no. Please. Go to America and have a lovely time in some comfortable, silent little room and lets hope that no one annoys you or even talks to you.

Nikki

Harry. I need you.

Harry

How I have longed to hear those words.

Nikki

Have you ever had mumps?

Harry

Shall I just fill out a questionnaire or something?

Nikki

Well you ask me something then.

Harry

No!

Nikki

I didn't know you were a petrol head?

Harry

I'm not a petrol head. I like cars, but it takes afterburners to really turn me on.

Nikki

Ah...so you're an airhead.

Harry

I grew up wanting to fly.

Nikki

So why didn't you? Peter pan never meet his Tinkerbell?

Harry

I was diagnosed with atrial septal defect as a baby.

Nikki

I never knew that.

Harry

Stuff she doesn't know. Well well.

Nikki

A heart murmur stopped you flying?

Harry

Stopped me doing lots of things. Started a few as well. Made me very interested in hearts.

Nikki

Oh. I'm flattered.

Harry

By what?

Nikki

You choosing to share your fantasies with me.

Harry

(gives Nikki a look)

Nikki

Your unfulfilled flying fantasies.

Harry

I've got music.

Nikki

[looks at CDs in car] Hmm... no you don't

Nikki

I'm still gonna ask her about it.

Harry

No you're not.

Nikki

I am.

Harry

I'm telling you you're not.

Nikki

Oh you're telling me are you?

Harry

You are looking into the Ellie Harris case. This is something completely different. It will cause conflict of interest. Plus, you don't like each other so you wouldn't get anything out of her anyway.

Nikki

And she'll like you?

Harry

It's not beyond the boundaries of plausibility is it?

Nikki

Are you going to enchant her with your special magic?

Harry

It has been known. Now go away....go.

Nikki

My past seems to be rapidly catching up with me.

Harry

That's because you're slow.