Cough, please.
Insurance?
No. [Frank gags in pain]
Cough again.
Jesus!
All done.
Fortunately, the hospital offers several payment plans to help you take care of your bill.
Can I get some more of this cherry Jell-O? It's delicious.
You can handle it in two or three easy monthly payments.
[Female nurse walks away] Hey. Some mashed potatoes. Maybe a little pudding. How much? What's that for?
Time to take out your Foley. Okay, sir, it looks like it's gonna be... hold on, I forgot the respiratory therapist. Okay, here we go.
No wait, pharmacy. It's not a completely accurate number, but for 30 days of ICU care, six CTs, four MRIs, urology, proctology, dermatology, skilled nursing, nutritionist, labs, pharmacy...
Take a deep breath.
Should be a little less than 150,000.
Dollars? [Nurse pulls out ureteral tube] Oh! Fucking mother of Satan!
All done!
Aah! What the fuck's the matter with you?! 100 grand?! Where are my fucking clothes?! [Starts getting out of bed]
Sir, you need to stay where you are.
I am not paying you a fucking cent!
That's not a good idea, sir. You need to stay for a few more days. You've been inactive for a month. Your muscles will have atrophied.
[Gets out of bed and starts walking] Where are my fucking clothes?! [Falls down face flat]
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