Frank and Confessional priest in “Unfinished Business”

Frank

Jesus. [Cutting in line to confessional box Uh, excuse me. I'm... I'm late for work, and you all look like you haven't had gainful employment for decades, so if you don't mind, I'll just, um... [In confessional box] Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been 23 hours since my last confession.

Frank.

Frank

I just can't understand why God would take her away from me, Father. Her family threw me out of the funeral. My own family ridicules my pain. Why, Father? Why? It was God's will, and she's in a better place. But why, why, when we had just found each other? Is God really so vengeful? Why is he punishing me with this torment?

All right, ten Hail Marys and light a candle.

Frank

Ten? Really? Just ten?

All right, 20. What the hell do you want? Do you want me to tell you to flog yourself with a cat-o'-nine-tails, make you wear a hair shirt?

Frank

What's a hair shirt?

Oh, damn it, Frank. It's not the Middle Ages, and there's a line out there for confession, so will you please let other people come in here and confess their sins?

Frank

Well, Jesus freaking Chr- if a man can't find a little comfort from the Catholic Church, maybe it's time to admit Martin Luther had a point. Let's give the Lutherans a try.

Frank

[Leaving confessional to woman he cut in line to] Don't give me that look! What could you possibly have to confess?! Your cooch dried up before Nixon went to China!