George in “Unfinished Business”

George

I was handcuffed to the bed... In my underwear, where I remained... [Scene cuts to another story] She was attractive... She was, also, in fact, a Nazi... [Cuts to another story] The water... that I had been swimming in was... very cold. And, when I dropped the towel, there was... significant shrinkage... [Scene cuts to another story] Her parents were looking at me... So, there I was, with a marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole... In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow witted bald man. [Gets up] Thank you. [George turns to leave, then remembers one more thing... ] Oh, also... my fiancé died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. [Sobs and loud crying erupts from the board members] Thanks again.