[George is meeting with the hospital administrator after a patient jumped from the roof and landed on George’s car]
Mr. Costanza, come in, come in. It’s been a very trying couple of days around the hospital. Doctors, patients, everyone just grief stricken over this unfortunate occurrence.
Well, I join them in their grief.
Horrible thing. Flew right past the children’s wing. All the sick children in the playroom looking out the window, just traumatized by the incident. Apparently, they thought he was flying. You know how children are. “Oh, look, a man is flying! A man is flying!” and then…splat.
That’s where I come in, on “splat”. You see Mrs. Sweedler, or is it Hospital Administrator Sweedler?
Mrs. Sweedler.
Mrs. Sweedler. Thank you very much. You see, this tragedy has affected me in a very…very personal way.
How is that?
Yes, well, you see…the deceased…landed on my car. The “splat”, as it were, actually occurred on the roof of my car. Now, of course I can’t help but feel that had it been a convertible, this whole tragedy might have been averted. But I’ve never been the kind of guy to buy a convertible what with the baldness and everything.
Well, I have known bald men who owned convertibles. They wore a hat.
Yes, but then everything’s all pulled down and-- Ah, anyway. The damage, unfortunately, has marred an otherwise fine automobile rendering it virtually undrivable.
[Flatly] Yes. Well that is a shame.
Yes! A shame. That is exactly how I would put it. Now, Mrs. Sweedler, with all due discretion and sensitivity, and taking in the whole scope of the situation, I just can’t help but think that…the hospital is somehow responsible for compensating the other still living victim of this horrendous, horrendous tragedy.
Mr. Costaza,
Yes?
A man plummeted tragically to his ultimate demise,
Yes.
And you greedily, callously, want to profit from it?
Well, “profit”? I--I think you’ll see from the estimate that I’m not really profiting that much. [Takes the estimate from the insurance company out of his pocket to show Mrs. Sweedler] It might be a little high, but--
Get out. Get out now. Get out of my office!
[George gets up to leave but turns back to leave the paper on Mrs. Sweedler’s desk]
Should I just leave this---?
Get out!
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