So much to tell you. Three weeks of sun and sex on a private island with a millionaire client. It looked good in the brochure. Not all it's cracked up to be. Still, it's good to be home. Every London girl's dream: my own front door.
S4 E11
Life is messy, Han. What's the alternative? You hide away in your perfect house all alone?
I'm just scared.
I know, Hannah.
You don't... You know, you have... you have other people. You have friends and family who know you. They know everything about you. And I just have you.
And you'll still have me.
Not if I fuck it up, I won't. And I always do. You know, my job—
Your job is just your job, Hannah. It's not you. I can handle it.
If I lose you, Ben, I'll have nobody.
You will not lose me.
But I might.
Hannah, there are thousands of reasons why we shouldn't try. There are thousands more why we should.
S4 E22
You can always spot a virgin. There's the ones who've been to an all-boys' school, the ones who are... hooked on porn, the terminally unattractive, and the guys who tried once, but something bad happened. But whichever Tim is, I'm gonna go in there and give him the best damn night of his life. Granted, I... may not be... much of a madam, but I'm one hell of an escort.
I haven't been completely straight with you. I'm not really a virgin.
Right.
Well, I am... but I'm not. But...
But...
The thing is... Oh, it's silly, really. Do you know Katy Perry?
Yeah, yeah. "I kissed a girl and..." Oh, you... kissed a girl and you... liked it?
Yeah. Which was a bit of a surprise because I'm gay. So it caught me unawares, so to speak.
Hang on, you're gay? [laughs] You're gay! That's why—
It didn't work. Exactly! I didn't want it to work. That's why I came 'round, to tell you that you didn't do anything wrong.
Thanks! Of course! [sighs with relief] Oh, that feels good.
S4 E33
You wanna know the real difference between you and me? It's that I love the very thing you fear most: the danger.
That's the thing about thrill-seeking: you wanna push it as far as you can without crossing the line. Because once you've done that... you're completely lost.
S4 E44
Do you charge more?
What?
For the gross stuff. Blowjobs... anal, golden showers.
[Hannah walked in on Poppy having sex with a stranger in her house, and Ben didn't do anything about it]
Ben, she's 19 years old!
Yeah, and she's just had a fucking massive shock! I think you forget how hard it is, Han. Not everyone—
Oh, God, give me a break.
Not everyone can take this kind of shit in their stride. The lies you're told, the lies you have to tell, the constant fucking insecurity. Do you know what, if you think about it, this is a completely fucked-up situation.
Yeah? Well, then maybe you shouldn't have moved in with me and my fucked-up situation.
S4 E55
[on the phone] Mr Bennett, you do realise I beat men for a living? Tomorrow at four will be fine. [hangs up]
You're amazing.
I know.
How do you do that?
It's quite simple. Men need to be told what to do. Believe me, when they say no, they really mean yes.
Sometimes you value least the people who love you most. Until you remember that without them, your life is worth nothing.
S4 E66
If there's one thing I've learned from years of satisfying the escapist fantasies of men, it's that sometimes the best way to deal with a problem is not to deal with it.
The truth is, I had heard you were good. Your reputation precedes you.
I suppose we should've just... sorted this out in the beginning, instead of letting things drag on.
Speaking of which, there's a human rights lawyer shackled to my boiler. I suppose I should go and release him.
[laughs] Yeah, exactly. [realises Charlotte is serious] Oh, you... OK. Sorry.
S4 E77
Why is it that people just love to dress up? And we're all guilty. The new haircut, that make-up we can't really afford. Just the little things we do to try and turn ourselves into someone else. All to find that day, that hour, that moment that makes us feel like we're really living. Because, let's face it: reality can be so overrated.
[to Belle] Some people get to you, some people make you care. Whether you want to or not.
S4 E88
You could have done anything. Why choose this?
The same reason you're in advertising, probably. I mean... I'm good at it. I think, and, erm... I just... I enjoy it. You know, I like getting to know clients. I like finding out their secrets. Kind of like, erm, a private detective. [both chuckle] Or a priest... ish. With just, like, better underwear. Just loads and loads of sex. [laughs]
Is it really that simple?
Well, no, I never said it was simple.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Secret Diary of a Call Girl pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.

