I love London. I love its rudeness, its lack of community, its impatience. I even love its weather. But most of all, I love the anonymity. The first thing you should know about me is that I'm a whore. In a world of children in bikinis and grandmothers in fuck-me boots, the surest way to tell a prostitute is to look for the woman in the designer suit. Locate the lifts, glide past reception. Look like you know where you're going. Walk quickly, don't attract too much attention. Be fabulous but forgettable. You should also know that this isn't the real me.
S1 E11
Escort, hooker, prostitute, whore—I don't mind what you call me. That's just semantics.
S1 E22
Behind closed doors, in warmly lit rooms all over London, pleasure is taking place. Some spontaneous, some planned, and yes, some paid for. And tonight's... tonight's is strictly invitation only. Sometimes, I get paid to do the things I've always wanted to do.
AAleksandar
Oh, but what do you do for a living?
In this dress, no one will care.
S1 E33
I always use black cabs, not minicabs. At least you get a different driver each time. They know what I'm up to, and I know they know. But they still ask me and expect me to lie. It's just a game we play. Everything in here is important. [shakes large handbag] But the only essential thing on an all-night job is this. [raises arm to display watch] A lot can happen on an all-nighter.
Maybe the girlfriend experience is like me as a real girlfriend. Starts out all exciting and passionate, then I get bored, sleep with someone else and leave.
S1 E44
I spend half my life removing hair and maintaining my body. Being an escort involves pain, but it's almost always self-inflicted. But sometimes pain can be pleasure.
Sirona was right. Hurting people is a very special talent. S&M has taught me one thing. Maybe absolute control isn't always best. Maybe sometimes you've got to give a bit away.
S1 E55
[answering phone] Hello?
Do you do girls?
[laughs]
It says here, "Yes" to anal, GFE, school uniform. "No" to scats, stags and water sports. You've got nothing against girls.
I need to ask you something. It's a favour. You don't have to do it if you don't wanna do it.
You're not gonna ask me to have sex with you and Vanessa, are you?
What? No.
Whew. [laughs]
Others may pay hundreds for you, but I had you when all it took was half a lager and a couple of Marlboro Lights.
[Pause]
Will you be my best man?
S1 E66
[Belle has a flashback to when she first met with Stephanie]
No need to be nervous. Just gonna ask you a couple of questions. First of all, A-levels?
Uh, yeah. History, English, Politics and General Studies.
No. I mean, do you do anal?
[after Hannah took a break from her work] So, have you gone back to being an amateur?
Temporarily.
Is that just so you can have sex in the Olympics?
Only if the government covers all my training costs.
S1 E77
[Belle is interviewing a male escort to work with]
And what do you think you bring to a client's experience?
MMan
12 inches.
Sex is really a numbers game. Group sex is complicated, but that's mechanics. For me, the hardest numbers have always been 1 plus 1. Can never seem to make them add up.
S1 E88
Is that weird? Asking your ex-boyfriend to take photos of you in your underwear so rich strangers can decide whether they want to pay you to have sex with them?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Secret Diary of a Call Girl pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.