Samurai Jack quotes

Aku

The beast was struck, and was transformed, into... BEEF JERKY!

Aku

The Wolf attacked Little Red Hood, not knowing that Little Red Hood had LASER EYE BEAMS! [Little Red Hood zaps the Wolf with eye lasers] GREAT COMBAT SKILLS! [Little Red Hood bashes the Wolf back and forth] AND A POWERFUL UPPERCUT that freed Little Red's Grandmother from the evil bowels of the Wolf!

Mmmmmm, confectionery treats.

Aku

And so, Little Red Hood was VICTORIOUS!

Did someone say picnic basket full of confectionery treats?

[confused] But, those are three different stories.

Aku

WITH GREAT ENDINGS!

Aku

When the three bears returned, COMPLETE DESTRUCTION awaited them!

Aku

Once upon a time there was a house built from straw, wood, and brick. Where three innocent little pigs happily made their residence- until there was a knock at the door. It was Big, Bad Jack.

Little pig, little pig, open up and let me in!

Not by the hairs of our chinny chin chins.

Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'm coming in! Here's Jacky.

Aku

ENOUGH! Here's the truest tale of all! There was an all-mighty, all-powerful wizard, and there was a pathetic little samurai. And the wizard destroyed him! THE END!

[after fighting tribe of gorillas away] Who were they?

Other tribe.

Why do you not defend what's yours?

We peaceful like flower. Know not how to protect ourselves. Other tribe take food, SMASH home, NEVER LEAVE US ALONE! We pick up pieces, replant somewhere else. We scared. Now, like before, we find new home.

l could show you how to defend yourselves... how to protect what is yours.

And we show you to jump good!

They agree. We learn to protect and defend.

And they will show me to jump good?

No. I mean, yes.

You jump good!

Hungry? HERE FOOD! [stuffs fruit into red gorillas' mouths] Still hungry? HERE MORE! TAKE IT! [stuffs more food] Never come again. [He gives the signal to catapult the red gorillas away.]

Aku!

Aku

Samurai fool! Your efforts are in vain again! [he grabs and seize the time portal] This gateway to the past is once more beyond your- [Jack jumps up high] reach? You can fly?!

No. Jump good! [Jack uses his sword to slash at a shocked Aku]

[he is only allowed one question to decide which of the two worms is the "magic" worm, armed only with the knowledge that one tells the truth and the other lies] If you were your brother, which one would you say was the magic worm?

Which one are you asking?

It doesn't matter.

Hmmm. That's easy. It's him.

Of course. It's me.

Then I choose you.

He knows.

What makes you choose me? I told you it was him.

Yes, me.

If you were the truth-telling one then what you said would be a lie because you will answer truthfully what your lying brother will say. Therefore I can safely say that the answer will be the opposite of what you say. On the other hand if you were the lying worm then you will tell me what your truth-telling brother will say but it would be a lie, therefore the answer will also be the opposite of what you say. Understand?

Uh...?

Of course.

Good answer. [Worm 2 swallows Jack whole] Hey, don't haul it all. [Worm 2 gulps him down] Little did he know we're both liars.

[laughing] Magic? I haven't done that since I was a little larva.

When does the magic begin? There is no magic, is there?

Jack!

You know of me?

Of course I do. I'm magic.

What's your favorite color?

Blue... no, red.