Maria DeLuca quotes from Roswell

Maria

The thing is, we don't know anything about these Czechoslovakians. Are they good Czechoslovakians? Are they bad Czechoslovakians? We don't know. They're just random Czechoslovakians. For all we know, they don't have their passport.

Maria

I just... I knew you had criminal tendencies. You even drive erratically.

Maria

If there's ever a time to have secret powers, now is the time.

Maria

Not if you were the last alien on Earth.

Maria

I mean, it can never be. There's a number of obstacles. His hair, his personality, the fact that he was hatched.

Maria

Well, I guess when Liz was shot and Max dissolved the bullet into nothingness and then repaired the damages inside of her that would have otherwise left her dead, I guess that kind of changed my thinking.

Maria

It's cheating. You can't just wave your hand over a problem and make it go away. Why don't you figure out what's really going on with you, Michael...why you can't just piece together an apology like any normal human being. Oops. Maybe that's the problem

Maria

Girlfriend, I know we bonded over the summer. But I'm not ready to show you the bod just yet.

Maria

You look like you got your heart stomped out. No, wait...that would be me. Well, if it's possible, you look worse.

Maria

Ok, we've got ginko, bee pollen, echinacea, C, D, E, calcium, St.John's wort , and pamprin... What? I was dating Michael Guerin.

Maria

Pretty weird, huh? Michael, have you ever even thought of the possibility that this guy more than just looks like you? Like he is you. Like your donor. Like your human side is him. Which means in some weird and twisted way, that he and his relatives are like your family.

Maria

If you're here to trash-talk, I'm gonna have to take a rain check, 'cause that is the only way I'm gonna get through a simple school day without losing it, all right?

Maria

I still can't believe Isabel's getting married. This is, like, a disaster of epic proportions. If you think Michael freaked when he found out, Max is gonna go ballistic.

What did they look like?

Maria

Well, one was like a muscular Beavis and the other was like a beefy Butthead.

I assume they weren't actual cartoon characters?

Maria

I mean, what do we even know about these people? Nothing. How do we know that they're not three feet tall, green and slimy?

Liz

I guess we don't.

Maria

And you know what else doesn't, like, particularly please me? The powers. How do we know they can't just, like, wiggle their noses and, like, poof us into an oblivion?

Liz

I guess we don't.

Maria

Okay, you're being, like, so casual about this. I want to choke you.