Mother, you are blinded by untapped lust. I'll get you a good big Cyrenian at the market and have done with it!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Caesar has sent Vorenus ahead to scout with a squadron of cavalry]
Can we trust him?
Who?
Lucius Vorenus.
Vorenus? Deep Thirteenth, him. He'd follow the Eagle up Pluto's arse!
[Pullo instructs Vorenus on the fine points of wooing.]
Now, your best method of pleasing a woman is the warm, beating heart of an enemy. Oh, women say they don't like it, but they do! Makes them wet as October!
[discussing how to please Lucius's wife.]
Also: very important. When you couple with her there's this spot just above her cunny. It's like a button. Now, attend to that button and she will open up like a flower.
[outraged] How do you know this about her?!
[momentarily gobsmacked] All women have them! Ask anyone!
[On finding Rome unprotected by Pompeian troops:]
[aghast] This can only mean that the Republic has fallen.
And yet, the sky is still above us and the earth still below. Strange.
How could Mars allow such a thing to happen?
Maybe he was out having a crap and missed it!
You are a thief. A foolish, incompetent thief. But we will treat your foolishness as some species of loyalty.
I do not like to quarrel with fortune, and clearly she's taken you for a pet.
[to Octavian after having an epileptic seizure] Vow to Orcus, never speak of this.
[nodding his head yes in agreement]
They say a slave talks of bravery like a fish talks of flying.
They say that, do they? How very witty of them.
[Atia has informed Octavian she has engaged a tutor for him: one of the soldiers who rescued him.]
Vorenus?
AJAtia of the Julii
Is that it? Not the sullen Catonian one, I don't like him. The cheerful, brutish one.
[turning to go] Pullo.
What extraordinary names these plebs have. Pullo.
Octavian, have you penetrated anyone yet? Titus Pullo, didn't I tell you to get that sorted? What else?
Perhaps you could arrange he kill someone.
That will happen in due course. We Julii always have the needful enemies.
What's your price, then?
MMadame
One thousand.
Gerrhae! I could have half the whores in Narbo for that, and their mothers!
MMadame
We're not in Narbo, wherever that might be.
All right, my dove, we'll pay, but the girl better fuck him like Helen of Troy with her arse on fire, or I'll know the reason why!
Well this last news from Greece cannot have improved your appetite.
Hardly.
And is it really so bad? Caesar always finds a way to win.
Pompey's gathered ten men for every one of Caesar's. Arithmetic has no mercy.
NNewsreader
This month's public bread is provided by the Capitoline Brotherhood of Millers. The Brotherhood uses only the finest flour: true Roman bread for true Romans.
[to Atia] I had not realised until now... what a wicked old harpy you are.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Rome pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.